Thanksgiving 2019, a day of food, fun, family, and football, is the most unlikely place you might expect to see your worst nightmare. You don't see too many horror movies set around Thanksgiving, because it just is not that scary of a time of year. Halloween has passed, and people are trading in their candy bags for fine china, but gorging all the same. A true time of relaxation. Maybe you are among your friends, maybe it is your family, but you are most at ease. You turn on the TV to listen to Al Roker ramble on about some nonsense while you wait patiently for the onslaught of football games and food to begin. That's when you see it, the nightmare you put out of your mind decades ago, E.T. is on TV.
During yesterday's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Xfinity debuted a new commercial featuring the return of the shriveled monster alien himself, E.T. In the ad, E.T., the main character from the Spielberg movie of the same name, returns to the home of Elliot (reprised by the original actor Henry Thomas) who is now all grown up. Elliot's children discover ET and begin to go through similar events echoing those of the original movie. In the end, E.T. phones home and takes off in the blink of an eye, leaving behind a glowing orb which his family can use to talk to him at any time. You can watch the entire commercial below.
This article, unsurprisingly, not sponsored by Xfinityyoutu.be
A quick search of this commercial will pull up a myriad of articles praising this story as heartwarming and tear-jerking. This article is not one of them. E.T. is a little raisin man who looks incredibly cursed. His nasty dry-looking rotund figure hobbles around in high definition, somehow looking creepier than I remember. I did not like E.T. when I was a kid, and I still don't. After watching the commercial, my hate is renewed and my fear is revived.
The story of the commercial at its heart is touching. I get why people like it and why they are so touched. For me, all I can see is how freaky E.T. looks in 2019. There are multiple scenes that skeeve me out, but none more than the scene where Elliot and his family watch a movie with E.T. sitting beside them, and the two of them exchange this look that goes on ENTIRELY TOO LONG.
Not right.
I certainly know a few people who are with me here, and all I can say is, Happy Holidays and sweet dreams my friends. It's E.T.'s world, and we're just living in it.
