Every time

I get high I think

I should grab

a pen or pencil

to write down these

fleeting thoughts

lest they disappear

into the ether...

because when I get sober

all I can remember is that yet again

I remembered

to forget

Lately

I try to breathe a lot

IN to expound

and OUT to expand

There

should be a third act

where everything comes together in a tidy bow

kind of like how together spells

to get her

It's

been 15 years

since it all began

5 years

since I realized

it was all worthless

but this year is the first year I forgot it was

his birthday

My Cat

has a brain injury

that prevents her from jumping

She recently had 2 teeth out

and came back to me

all sedatedish

and wobbly

running away from me

her human

who

did

this

to

her

On vets orders

I took away the stairs to her bed

an hour later

I went to check on her

and she was on the motherfucking bed

I thought it was some anesthetic

MIRACLE

until it was pointed out to me

that she probably just wandered

up on the clothes mountain

on the other side.

Outside

there is an IKEA lamp

identical

to the one

I bought when I first moved here

it has long been discontinued

I've been trying to find a companion for it

for

so

long

only to find one out by the dumpster

smelling like piss

I

live

on a major

throughway

where many men

drive

their

HOT RODS

and their

MOTORBIKES

loudly.

I don't wish for them

DEATH

because that seems

EXTREME

I only wish that

their

tiny peni(?)

would fall off

and leave me

to peace.

My Other Cat

jumps in front of this computer

screen

just as I'm about to finish

DEMANDING my love

"just a moment longer" I plead

in response

he sneezes in my face

I placate him

isn't that always the way?