If you're anything like me, you know Zoom calls are terrible.
I get that people miss being social during quarantine, and getting some face time with loved ones can help bridge the gap — but I'm just not sure if Zoom calls (or whatever video call platform you're using) is worth it.
Perhaps the greatest thing about quarantine is that you no longer have to worry about making plans with people, and here are many of those people going out of their way to find ways to make virtual plans. It's baffling.
Maybe the worst part about video calls with family and friends is that they often have no clear end-time. No one is like "Let's do a call from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m.!" or "Let's do a call, but only for 20 minutes!"
That's why these calls are so dangerous.
If you find yourself on a call with no clear out, here are some things you can say to get off the call ASAP:
1. Fake a phone call from someone important in your life that's not on the Zoom call and say you "have to take it."
2. Start the call saying you have to jump off at a very specific time because you have another Zoom call with someone else.
3. You have to go pick up curbside groceries.
4. You have to take your dog for a walk.
5. A grocery order was just delivered and you have to sanitize it.
6. You promised [someone living with you] that you'd do the dishes tonight.
7. Your computer fan is hissing loudly and you're worried your laptop is overheating.
8. Say that they are not coming in clearly and you can barely hear what they're saying. Add in a "my fucking WiFi!" to seem genuinely upset about this inconvenience.
9. Mention a show you've been bingeing early in the call, and then later in the call suggest they start it NOW and text you when they're done with the first episode.
10. Be brutally honest that you hate Zoom calls and that while you love whoever you're talking to right now, your video call endurance has reached its limit, but you'll do it again soon out of the kindness of your heart.