I started battling anxiety at the beginning of my junior year in high school. I still remember my first panic attack like it was yesterday. I was completely terrified and I was at a loss on how to get better. Luckily I had parents who were extremely invested in making sure that my anxiety did not control my life. A few weeks later I began to see a therapist and I got better. I was able to control my anxiety. I learned what my triggers were and how to avoid them. It seemed as if I had conquered anxiety. Unfortunately, it did not stay that way. During the second semester of my freshman year in college I started battling anxiety in a whole new way. I became extremely hopeless and at one point contemplated taking my own life.
At the beginning of the summer I did start going to biblical counseling. I've been able to learn so much through the entire experience. For a while the things that I was learning in counseling we're really helping me cope with everything going on in my life. It was a relief to know that I had a place to go so that I could get better. The only problem was that the people helping me were not licensed therapists. It was decided with the help of my parents and close friends that pursuing help from a licensed therapist was my best option. I am still in biblical counseling while I wait to see a licensed therapist. I'm not saying that biblical counseling has not helped me because it really has helped me. However, sometimes anxiety manifests itself in different ways, sometimes you need a doctor's help to figure out the best course of action and treatment for whatever is ailing you.
Towards the end of the summer I was able to get into the counseling center at my university. After a few encounters with them it was decided with the help of my parents that seeing somebody outside of the university counseling center was going to be best for me. This is not always going to be the right decision for everybody else. There were several incidents that made me feel extremely uncomfortable during that process which is why I am seeking help outside of the university counseling center.
It has been two months since I began to look into finding somebody outside of the university counseling center. Unfortunately, I still have not found somebody to help me. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out how to get help and who to get it from. It is extremely frustrating to try to get help. It honestly feels like you have to have a complete mental breakdown in order to get help. That's absolutely ridiculous. Getting mental health health should not be this difficult.
If you are struggling to get help, keep going. You may feel like you were being obnoxious, you are not being obnoxious. If you do not advocate for yourself no one else will. So, if you are like me keep advocating for yourself. The louder you yell the harder it is to ignore you. Keep fighting, you deserve to get help.
