All my life, I've had trouble accepting myself. Primarily, I think my issues stemmed from the idea that acceptance of your body, your looks, or your personality was narcissistic. Having thoughts like "I'm too loud," "I wish my waist would shrink," or "maybe people would like me better if I changed XYZ…" was perfectly normal, yet thoughts like "Hey, I feel really confident today," "I look good in this dress," or "I'm proud of this quality" were verging on narcissism.

This, my friends, is what we call a toxic thought.

There's a distinct difference between self-obsession and self-acceptance, and I can promise you this: acknowledging that you are beautifully made does not run in the same circle as vanity.

Loving yourself is a difficult concept for most people. I've always preached "self-acceptance" over "self-love," simply because I don't necessarily like the implications of the latter term. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my God, but I don't always love myself or the way my body looks. Acceptance seems like more of a humble concept anyway. What kind of people outwardly proclaim that they love themselves?

Well...I kinda think that we all deserve to.

Recently, I've started to rethink this concept. What does it mean to love somebody? It means you're patient with them. It means you're willing to offer forgiveness. It means you're kind and sensitive to their needs. If this is what loving someone looks like, then why would it be any different to love ourselves? Being patient with your mistakes and insecurities, forgiving yourself when you mess up, and listening to the needs of your heart are not qualities of narcissism.

Self-love does not have to be as toxic as some people like to make it seem. It doesn't have to pertain to dressing yourself to the nines, dieting to an extreme, or abandoning friends the second they slight you.

Self-love is not spontaneously cutting out all things that don't "deserve" you. It is respecting yourself enough to know when to walk away and when to work things out. Self-love is not indulging and subsequently regretting. It is being grateful for the times you are able to splurge. Self-love is not destroying your body in hopes that others like the way you look. It is striking a balance between enjoying the food you eat and giving yourself sufficient nourishment.

Self-love is not vain, and it should not be optional. You give so much to others. Why shouldn't you give the same to yourself?