I have a very particular style of dress. It's not conventional wear for one of my age nor one of my generation, yet it is one I have grown quite comfortable wearing. It took some time to reach that level of self-ease. Still, I am a work in progress, for my dress style was chosen with careful consideration and intent, not merely for appearance's sake but to serve as a reminder to myself, a physical representation of my personal goals. I do not dress to express myself. My outfit represents the type of person I wish to be, the person I could grow into by taking chances and working consistently to better myself.

My outfit was modeled after a collection of fictional characters that possess traits I too wish to harbor. One started it all, but the rest contributed to my final appearance. The four most prominent character models are the Eleventh Doctor ("Doctor Who"), Neal Caffrey ("White Collar"), Spencer Reid ("Criminal Minds"), and Sherlock Holmes ("Sherlock").

It all started in high school when my self-confidence first started plummeting underneath the educational stresses and social pressures. I was told by a friend to watch "Doctor Who," but I put it off for quite a while. Eventually, one bored night, I decided to play my first episode, which was a laugh. I met the Ninth and Tenth Doctors, and I grew to really like them. I even had to take a hiatus because I didn't want to see the Tenth Doctor leave. Eventually, I bucked up, and I was finally introduced to the Eleventh Doctor.

My world perspective might have changed right then, and I only began to love him more as I watched his episodes because I found a kindred spirit and inspiration that I desperately needed at that point of my life. He was just so odd and proud of it and encouraged others to be their truest weird selves. He was all empathy and him being true to himself allowed me to be more comfortable with not being like everyone else. He said the right things that I took to heart, and I took on some of his style to remind myself it is okay to be different. I began to dress differently from others to become comfortable with it, so I could also become comfortable in being different. It only grew from there, following me through my high school graduation and on to college, though the finalization of my style didn't occur until my second year.

Where before I mainly rocked suspenders, boots, a bow tie, pocket watch, and, eventually, a tweed jacket I found at a thrift shop on campus to complement my button downs when I dared to wear such an out-of-place outfit, I completely formulated my style during the summer between my first and second years of college because I had discovered another fictional character to look up to.

My family had really gotten into "White Collar" when I picked it up on Netflix out of my many options. The con artist, Neal Caffrey, wasn't the epitome of goodness and morality, but he had a wicked intelligence and beguiling charm to him. What was so striking though was his confidence and charisma, two traits I was good at faking when they were needed but never fully owned. I was and still am a very awkward and self-conscious individual, and some days, I'm less socially adept than usual. Sometimes, I can't pick the right words, hold eye contact, or silence my ever-present internal critic. I want to be more confident, more charismatic and charming, so I decided to pick a few things that reminded me of the man who possessed what I sought after. Nothing said Neal Caffrey like fedoras and suit vests.

I revived my love of "Criminal Minds" and, especially, the eccentric but lovable Spencer Reid. He was odd, but he was extremely intelligent, mostly comfortable with being the weird know-it-all, mainly content in not always understanding social cues, and loyal to those who loved him. He was different, and he wasn't always fine with it, though he did grow and continues to grow at ease with his idiosyncrasies. He represented my journey to do the same, so I paid homage to him by partially trading in my bow ties for regular ties (though I still do wear the former since I have a collection) and converse shoes when the boots weren't the most comfortable to wear.

I am also a fan of the show "Sherlock." I can't say the primary lead for whom the show was named was of stellar character and idealistic notions. He was rude, callous, and arrogant, but he was also intelligent, had a thirst for knowledge and learning, and loyal to those who accepted him despite his faults. He also knew how to dress. I got myself a blue scarf like his (with a red complement), a trench coat for when my tweed jacket was not appropriate for warmer temperatures, and a compact magnifying lens to fiddle with in my pocket.

All of these individual articles of clothing came together to form the outfit I've become well known for today. Each piece holds significance for me, and they remind me to hold my head up when I start slipping back into a low self-esteem mindset. Sometimes, despite it all, I forget what I'm working towards, and no dress style can fix every issue I deal with. Yet, other times, I can catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror that reminds me what it is I seek. My spine stands a little bit taller then.