I held the warm cup of coffee between my hands and looked up at my companion, an old friend from high school that was visiting Philadelphia for a conference. We were both freshmen, and I was really excited to see a familiar face. He smiled and looked out the window at our surroundings.
"So this is UPenn technically, right?" He asked.
"Yeah," I replied, "This is their campus. But I like coming to this Starbucks better. The Wharton guys look mighty good in khakis," I joked quietly as one particularly fine behind moved past our table.
"Ohhhh," he smirked knowingly, "So you're getting your B.S. at Drexel, but you're earning your M.R.S. at UPenn."
I paused in the middle of tearing another sugar packet open, confused, "I'm sorry, what?"
Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamt of getting married. I dreamt of having boatloads of children in a big house, with a loving husband who worked while I cooked, cleaned, and cared for the 2.5 kids and the Chocolate Labrador. I told everyone that I was getting married at 24, and I wanted to marry a doctor, or maybe a lawyer.
A lot has changed since then. I deleted my secret wedding Pinterest board. I'd prefer to get married after I can legally rent a car without being charged extra, and I've ruled out doctors and lawyers. My mom and roommate have since ruled out engineers as well. (Trust me, that's for my own good.) Most importantly, I don't want a Chocolate Lab. I want a Golden Retriever.
In all seriousness, the most important change is that now I want a career. Which is why I'm in college, to learn the skills that I'll need to snag a job and keep it, not to learn the tips and tricks on grabbing and keeping a man. Why, with the absurd cost of tuition, would a person come to college to find a spouse? I want to work my butt off, day and night, to one day make enough money to support myself and buy my parents a house by the beach. I want to be the best I can be.
I want to provide for myself and then, one day, in the very far future, I want to help provide for my family. I want my kids to grow up knowing that they can rely on themselves for anything. How could I teach them that if I couldn't do it myself? Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with getting married young. Good for you if you happen to find your spouse in college in a happy twist of fate. All I know is that the suffragettes didn't work as hard as they did for me to participate in a $250,000 dating service. If your sole purpose is to find a husband, save your money.
It took me about 30 seconds to regain my power of speech. "No," I finally said, "I don't want an M.R.S. degree. Just a B.S. is more than enough for now, thanks." He didn't really understand, and I didn't take the time to explain. I don't think I could have really explained it then anyway. We finished our coffee and left the Starbucks. He and I never discussed it again.
In the words of the great Rhianna, "I'm not looking for a man. Let's start there." In the middle of class, I'm not daydreaming about my future husband. I'm listening and learning, and maybe browsing Tumblr a little, okay? I'm not going to lie to you people. I'm not planning my wedding when I'm supposed to be planning my week. First off, you shouldn't start planning until you have another person to marry, because I'm pretty positive that the day is about both of you. Second, I have bigger things to worry about. We all do.
So, no, I'm not at college to earn my M.R.S. Ask me again one day and maybe I'll have changed my mind, but if there's one thing I know right now, it's this: I don't want a husband. I got fake married to a frat boy a year and a half ago at a wedding social with a ring pop and a bottle of sparkling juice. Sometimes when I see him on the street he still calls me his wife and right now, that's close enough for me.