Yes, I'm Short, But Please Don't Use Me As An Armrest
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Politics and Activism

Yes, I'm Short, But Please Don't Use Me As An Armrest

Would the ladies under 5'4 please stand up. (No really, please stand, I can't see you, I am also under 5'4.)

Jessica Prowell
Oct 29, 2018
Lindenwood University
188
Yes, I'm Short, But Please Don't Use Me As An Armrest
Jessica Prowell

I just wanna start out by saying it's not fair. I always have to stand in front in group photos, I can never see behind anyone during movies/plays/concerts even when they're SITTING. Fun fact: I have been measured at the doctor's office 3 times, each time it's been shorter. I started out at 5'4 and made my way down to 5'2 1/2. My dad was like 6'2, my brother is also 6'2, and my mom is 5'7. I didn't think I was supposed to shrink until I became, like, an adultier adult so SOMEONE IS LYING HERE. PLEASE LET ME BE TALL/5'4/NORMAL SIZED.

PSA: if you're over 5'10, DON'T SIT IN FRONT OF SOMEONE UNDER 5'4 IF YOU CAN HELP IT. SWITCH WITH SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF MY SANITY AND VIEW. I JUST WANNA WATCH MAMMA MIA 2 FOR THE 5TH TIME IN THEATERS IN PEACE.

I know it's also not your fault that you're tall. I get it; I really do, but you have a lot more advantages here than we do. Do us a solid and listen up.

1. If we ask for help reaching something, please don't laugh

Giphy

When I was little, and by little I mean I still do this, I literally have to hoist myself onto the kitchen counter, sometimes stand up on it, just to reach the top shelf. I can never ever reach the top shelves of Walmart, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY STARTED ADDING THINGS TO THE TIPPY TOP ONLY TALL PEOPLE AND LADDERS CAN REACH. DISCRIMINATION.

2. Wearing heels isn't always the answer

Giphy

I trip over my own feet no matter what's on my feet, even if I'm barefoot. Telling me to wear heels is asking me to fall in my face anytime there's the smallest amount of texture on the ground or if I use stairs. They hurt my feet anyway and only make me a relatively normal height. 10/10 do not recommend.

3. Hugging us is not as awkward for us as it is for you

Giphy

Being hugged as a short person by anyone taller (not a huge standard) is the best thing ever TBH. I don't know if it's only me who loves it, but your entire body is just enveloped by another person showing you affection. IT'S SO SWEET AND I LOVE IT. 1000/10 definitely recommend. Go hug a shorty, we always need hugs.

4. We're easy to lose, be careful

Giphy

See, being easy to lose in a crowd/store/anywhere is a win/lose. Sometimes it's a win for us because #socialanxiety so we don't have to deal with people but it's also a lose for us because #socialanxiety (I'm struggling). I get kinda freaked out when I lose my friends in a crowd because I can't see above anyone to look for them. Lots of random marco/polo games happen in Target.

5. We know we're short, we don't need a reminder

Giphy

"Haha, you're so small, it's adorable!"

IT'S REALLY NOT. I mean, it definitely is, but IT'S REALLY NOT FOR THE 10000000TH TIME IN MY LIFE. I lowkey love being short but also highkey hate it BECAUSE I get called adorable.

"You can't be scary, you're too cute!"

AM I?????? GEE, I DIDN'T KNOW. THANKS.

TL;DR -

Yes, I have short legs.

No, you cannot use my head/shoulders as an armrest unless I love you.

Yes, I need you to lift me so I can see what's happening.

No, I will not tie your shoes because I'm closer to the ground.

Yes, coffee most definitely stunted my growth.

Short people have feelings too.

Respect us.

We're closer to the ground so we're closer to Satan.

( Twas only a jest)



media2.giphy.com

*Me, skipping away from kicking you in the shins when you make fun of my shortness*

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