Every year, around mid-late October something despicable happens. People skip Thanksgiving, and even Halloween, just to celebrate Christmas for 2 1/2 months. Stop orgasming over your Christmas tree, and let me enjoy my pumpkins and mashed potatoes.

It's turkey time, Santa can wait.

Thanksgiving is a non-religious holiday about being grateful for all that you have. It's wholesome, it's American, everyone celebrates it, what's not to love?

This is the best meal of the year. Don't lie, its worth all the family drama. Everyone has a "dysfunctional" family, some are just a little more so than others. If you moved away or are off at college, it's nice to come home and visit all your family, even if they get on your nerves. If nothing else, be thankful for that four day weekend away from work or school.

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Sure, Christmas presents are fantastic, don't get me wrong, but you need to sit your elf ass down for three more weeks and stop disrespecting the great feast. We can exchange gifts and jolly attitudes during the appropriate month.

Thanksgiving is the one holiday where you are expected to get four platefuls and 3 desserts, it's just the American way. Think of the pumpkin pie! The sweet potato casserole! That perfectly roasted, juicy turkey! And don't forget that all gets turned into leftovers!

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Don't forget about all the parades! The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is magical. Watch a giant Snoopy make his way down the streets of New York City? How about those marching bands and cheerleaders who made their way all the way to the Big Apple, for you to enjoy sitting on your couch stuffing your face with turkey. It's wholesome family entertainment.

Get ready for that food coma, lean the lazy boy back, turn on the game, and unbuckle your belt kind of food coma. The best type of nap is one with a full belly. Watch the dog show that's always on and just deflate after all that food.

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Fall is the best season. It's not too hot, not excruciatingly cold, and best of all, the evil summer bugs have died. and the leaves are putting on a glorious show. Are you really ready to give all this up for blisteringly cold temperatures and snow!? Sure snow is great as a kid, fun play times, sledding, and no school. As an adult, snow is a nightmare! Slippery sidewalks, icy roads, car accidents, snow delays, is it all worth it? I urge you to savor this time of year, soon you'll all be complaining and wishing for warmer temps.

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Praise the Thanksgiving time of year It won't be long before it's already January 17th and you've already broken your New Year's Resolution 4 times. This is the fat, happy time of year! The most epic cheat day of them all, treat yo self!

Christmas can shove a candy cane in it. Turkey day must be respected. Happy Thanksgiving!