Recently, I was at a grocery store browsing the aisles while Top 40 songs played. Although I'm normally not a fan of pop songs, one that I'm familiar with came on while I was doing my shopping, called "Hideaway" by Daya. As I hummed along to the repetitive tune and listened to the lyrics, one line stood out to me and struck a nerve, "He's gonna save my life like superman."
While it is just a fun pop song with a good beat that shouldn't be taken too seriously, the lyrics reinforced an age-old fact and an idea that many people still have: that women need to be "saved" by men and having a boy in their life will automatically improve it. From fairy tales to comic books to romantic comedies, it is always a woman who is in need of some man to find her and save or change her life. Even my favorite song in middle school was a female artist singing about why she needed a boy to take her away from her problems, the main line of the chorus being, "Sooner than later, I'll need a savior."
While I won't deny that having a significant other can be an awesome experience, some people experience terrible relationships and in general, relationships are a big time commitment and require work and effort to maintain. It seems as if there's a myth believed by some that relationships are simple and easy, with minimal work required and an automatic happily ever after.
Furthermore, having a boyfriend isn't an automatic, "My Life is 100x Better Now!" card. Most of the time, if you're unhappy with your life before a boy, you'll still be unhappy after. Even with a boyfriend, you'll still have the problems you had before. As a girl who has struggled with self-esteem issues, I can firsthand say that a boy does not automatically make them go away; that's something you have to do on your own. I've known a lot of girls who want a boyfriend so desperately, convinced that they'll fill some void in their life, only to be disappointed when they feel the exact same way about themselves and their lives when having one.
Even though Daya wants someone to save her life, I think that being independent and finding happiness on your own is what should be promoted instead. A person can have a fulfilling life without a significant other, and even if you have a partner, you shouldn't rely on them for your happiness. Being "saved" by a person implies that they're your salvation and can lead to co-dependence, which isn't healthy for either person in the relationship.
So instead of waiting or looking for someone else to change your life, just know that you're capable of doing it by yourself. This way, you'll be content with yourself and your life, not having to rely on anyone else for anything. Save yourself. Only you have the power to truly make yourself happy.
