I cannot count the number of times I have overheard girls my age at the gym say, "He's going to come crawling back after he sees my revenge body," (sadly, I have said this exact statement before around a year ago). Thinking about this phrase literally gives me flashbacks and makes me cringe #Yikes.
Why did a breakup or post-fling make you want to get that "perfect" bod? Are they honestly the ONLY reason you want to start getting into shape and help your overall health? You're basically forcing yourself to struggle through something just in case they make their way back, but what if they don't?
Around a year ago, after my senior year, I — sad, post "almost relationship" Amber — vowed to make a change and get that boy back. A change that would make him think, "Damn, why did I ever leave her?" kind of change. So, I decided I'd pay that $20 a month (that could've been spent on four good cups of coffee) to get a "revenge body." I worked SO hard for around a month, only thinking of him when stepping onto that daunting treadmill. Doing intense cardio to the point where my vision would get blurry.
He was so worth it, right? WRONG.
I eventually realized I needed to give up on this "revenge body" because I wasn't enjoying eating lettuce every day, let alone going blind from intense exercise. As many people do, he moved on pretty fast, which literally made everything I was putting my all into "worthless" in a sense. I'm happy I didn't keep up this work because I would've seen this body as a waste of time when he didn't "hit me up" months later.
I gave up because I thought, "What's the point if he isn't coming back?"
That was my issue, right there. I wanted to change my appearance in order to make someone want me, but they shouldn't have to be forced back into my life, they should WANT to be there.
I wanted to gain strength in order to make someone jealous when I should've given myself this incredible strength.
It took me a whole year to realize I wanted to get fit for my own wellbeing and not for someone who doesn't give a sh*t. Currently, I have lost 16lbs in two months because I wanted it. I needed this change to boost my self-esteem and the outlook I had on myself. Not to get a boy back who honestly isn't going to give me a second glance when I go back to school in the fall.
A man who chose not to be with you doesn't deserve any aspect of you, let alone your new "hot body."
Girl, if they didn't appreciate you before those rock-hard abs, do they really deserve you after? You owe it to YOURSELF to feel incredible and badass when walking around campus and winking at cute strangers (that's a joke, please don't do that).
Don't push yourself in a direction just so an insignificant person may slide back into your DMs once school starts up again. We're better than that. Do it for yourself, not for him.
When I'm at the gym and I glance at myself in the mirror while sweating profusely, I don't wonder what someone else will think, I think, "Damn, I look freaking incredible, and it's all because I wanted it."
But who knows, maybe you'll find Mr. Right at the gym!
Now go squat 100lbs, make that damn kale smoothie, and take some bomb-ass selfies (for your own benefit, of course).