Over the last year I've come to realize that too many of the relationships I have with people are superficial. I can tell you where they live, how many siblings they have, what they do for a living, but I don't really feel like I know them. This feeling began during my college orientation, which is quite different from how I've heard most other orientations go. We had serious discussions about hard topics and a lot of people really opened up in a way that they never have before. As the year went on, some of my friends and I started to ask each other deep questions that we found on a list on the internet. This really opened my eyes to how little I truly know about people and how much of our own personalities we keep hidden from those around us.
Straying from the norm of small talk can be uncomfortable and difficult. Small talk can make for a good filler when you don't know somebody very well or when you don't have time to talk a lot. However, with the increased use of social media and the character limits and word shortcuts that have come with it, it's hard to fully communicate your thoughts. So many texting conversations are filled with meaningless "how are you?" "I'm good. wbu?" messages that are just accepted as real conversations. I've begun to feel as though some of the people that I thought I was friends with are more of acquaintances that I look at from behind a veil. I can see them and I know who they are, but I don't really know anything about them.
As I said, it can be uncomfortable to open yourself up to other people. I'm not someone who typically tells other people very much about my personal life. When my friends and I would get together and have these conversations some people would cry talking about certain things, but at other times you could see people really light up talking about something they love. I've learned this year that no matter what you do life will always find a way to hurt you, so there's no reason to shut other people out and not put yourself out there. I've seen that life is short and it is precious, so I want to make the most of the time that I have. I find that when growing closer to other people I am able to also grow myself. Really listening to the experiences that other people have had helps to broaden my own view of the world. People are so much more than what they show on social media or when they first meet you.When you see that other people have experienced pain and have made it through their struggles, you can really appreciate their journeys more.
I want us to stop asking each other about the weather and about whatever other easy conversation fillers there are. Ask me about my biggest fears, if I've ever had my heart broken, what I think love is, about my favorite book, and where I see myself in 10 years. I want to be challenged and I want us all to challenge each other. This world can be such a cold place if we don't reach out and build relationships with those around us. Instead of putting our walls up, I suggest that we start reaching out for help and love. Life is too short to waste our breath discussing things that don't matter and worrying about being vulnerable. Too often nowadays the cool thing to do is to shut people out and to not get connected. People fear "catching feelings" or trusting someone, but I don't want to look back on my life and feel like I didn't do everything I wished I would've or didn't make the connections I know I should've. In the words of the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, "Is life not a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?"
