I don't dream of a big wedding or taking my kids to their first day of school.

I'm not saying I don't want to get married or grow old with the love of my life. I very much want to have a partner and be happy and come home from work to cook dinner WITH my husband and sit down and half the bills WITH my husband. I want to travel the world with my best friend without stopping to change a diaper.

I'm saying I don't want to be the traditional mommy and wife.

I don't want to give birth or have a husband who pays for everything. I don't want to be a stay at home mom. I'm not excited for car rider lines, sick babies, pregnancy brain, or prom preparation.

To those of you who are mommies and "traditional" wives. I salute you. I wouldn't know where to start with a baby and a husband at the same time. I wouldn't know what to do if they cry or got bullied in school or had a ton of homework. You're doing amazing but I just don't think it's for me.

I know this will be earth shattering but I do not want kids. I don't think its cut out for me. When I think of being an adult, I think of going to my dream job in my dream state. I think of putting my scrubs on and driving to my job as an Angiogramer or an X-Ray tech. I think of seeing the root like veins in a person or seeing the broken bones of a hand. I want to be the best "partner" and the best Tech. Not getting a call from the school or getting ran over in car rider line or cleaning up paint of my bathroom door.

I do not want kids. Not because I hate them but because I wouldn't be a good mother. I wouldn't know how to discipline, I don't have a ton of "special" patience. I don't want to come home to a whiney kid because I turned the tv off. I don't want to argue with my partner/husband because he thinks the kid could do one thing and I think opposite. I don't want my child to grow up terrified of things or to grow up totally wild because I don't have a separation between those. I don't want them to struggle or to be incredibly rich. I never want them to be heartbroken. I can barely handle my own heartbreaks.

I don't want people to think less of me because I don't want children and I don't want a man to take care of me.

I want to be able to take care of myself but I want to come home to someone who will support me doing so.

If my tire is low, I want to be able to air it up without waiting for my SO to do it... I want to tell them HEY I AIRED UP MY TIRE TODAY AT WORK and him praise me.. (FYI AIRING UP A TIRE ISN'T THAT HARD IT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE).

I want to my husband to come home and start the chicken so when I come home I can start the vegetables. I want to say, " hey, I paid the lights" and they say "okay, I'll pay the water".

And I just don't think I'm cut out to be a mother.

I want my dreams but I also want to support my SO in his dreams. I want it to come down to US. At the end of the day. I want a Relationship, Partnership, and Friendship between us. I don't like one sided things. I'm terrified of raising someone the wrong way. I'm terrified of things getting in the way of my dreams. And I'm not going to be of used, ran over, and disrespected.