I’m done being put on the back burner. I’m done with guys who tell me that I’m the most important thing in their life, that they couldn’t live without me, only to push me aside when someone else comes along. I’m done being their anchor.
My past exes have had one thing in common: they have both looked at me as if I was some sort of tether, something that they could always count on to be there. They took me for granted. They assumed that I would be fine tagging along for the ride, holding them down only when they needed to be grounded. They thought that I would keep everything stable while they walked off and went on their fantastic adventures. They let me sink without ever realizing that I was drowning.
Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator
Not once was I the wind in their sails. Unpredictable, but when I came along I set things in motion, kept them going. I was never their north star, something that they could look to when they were unsure of themselves, when they felt lost and were hoping for guidance. I was never their ocean. A vast expanse, full of uncharted and unknown things, either wild and crazy or calm and quiet. I was never their sense of adventure, the one thing that got them going, the one thing that made them want to do something in the first place.
I was something that could be owned. I was something that could be easily replaced. I was something that could be rusted over, ignored, and yet still useful. I was something that they could toss overboard or bring up when they needed to, when they felt like it was time to move. I was something to be kept close. Something to be chained to their side. Never once was I prayed for. I was not something that they had to look to God for. I wasn’t something that they couldn’t always see, but always trusted to be there. I wasn’t something that they had to put their faith into. Because to them, I was always there.
Both of my exes learned a very hard lesson.
I am not something to be owned. I am the ocean. I surround all, I am unknown only to those who do not wish to explore me, to know every crevice, every dark trench. I am unpredictable, I can be wild and crazy or quiet and calm when I choose to be, not when someone tells me to. I am the wind, unchangeable. You may find a way around my direction, but you will never truly be able to stop it. I am the north star. Only those who care to look for me can find me. Otherwise I am lost among the expanse of others, and I content to stay that way for people who choose not to.
I’m not saying that I won’t be there for those who need me when I am required. But I’ll be damned if I will continue to allow myself to sink just for them. I’m done drowning for those who wouldn’t drown for me too.
The next guy who calls me his anchor is going to feel the storm he wants protection from.