Dolly Parton Is The Queen Of The Smokies

Dolly Parton Is The Queen Of The Smokies

"I'm not happy all the time and I wouldn't want to be because that would make me a shallow person. But I do try to find the good in everybody."
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Nestled in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains is a tourist packed community surrounded by locals with roots dating back for centuries.

The great people of Sevier County are known for their culture. Folk music, delicious food, deep family values, rich history, kind hearts, a love of neighbor and friend, a slew of words that do little to describe these great people.

Coming from a humble beginning in the backwoods of Sevier County, lived one of the greatest legends the region has seen. Dolly Parton got her start in East Tennessee, born the 4th of 12 children to a dirt poor subsistence farmer and his wife. Her family was close knit, and they shared a deep love for their Smoky Mountain roots.

Dolly went on to become one of the most prominent country music stars, actresses, and entrepreneurs. She is known for her sweet voice, her big hair, and her bold personality.

Around here, though, Dolly is known for much more.

Recently, Parton came under fire, activist Aisha Harris called Dolly's popular dinner show "racist." The Dixie Stampede shares a story of the battle of north and south, partially set during the Civil War era. The show consists of no real battles between north and south, merely a battle between the left and right sides of the amphitheater where the show takes place.

Guests are seated in support of the gray or the blue, based on where you're from, which tickets are cheaper, and whatever seats are available at the time of purchase. Then, the show designates around 5-10 minutes to different periods of American history. From Native American history, to westward expansion, to the Antebellum period, different stories are showcased with dancing, singing, horsemanship, patriotism, and goofy competitions.

There is no racism. There is however, wholesome family entertainment, delicious food, and an atmosphere that leaves you basking in nostalgia for weeks.

If the evidence of Dolly's love for community, family, and quality entertainment isn't apparent from that description, here are a few more facts.

Dolly Parton, following the tragic severe county wildfires, pledged $1,000/month to every family affected for 6 months after the fires. When they received the last segment of their gifts, Parton had made the last check out for $5,000 instead of $1,000.

She runs the Imagination Library, a program that has distributed of 40,000,000 books to local children in order to encourage literacy from a young age. Every child in the program receives a new book in the mail every month from birth until their 5th birthday. The program is absolutely free to families.

The Dollywood Foundation is another program Dolly maintains. The program sets aside funds for various causes, sheltering programs like the Imagination Library, the My People Fund, and Mountain Tough Recovery Team.

So, before we call someone a racist and throw a fit over their dinner show, let's take a look at the community they support, the work they do, and the completely misguided statement that cried racism in the first place.

Dolly, we will always love you.


Cover Image Credit: Mashable

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1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

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7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

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And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr
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