Dear Depression,
I struggle almost every day, because of you. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to look in the mirror and see the mess that I am. I don't want to have to leave the security of my bed. I hate the way I look. Who I am mentally. I hate it all. Depression you are b*tch. I have been fighting with you all my life. Someday's you are worse than others. Some days you make me want to die. I choose to keep going. I have too. Because Suicide is only a permanent solution to temporary problem. I have to keep going. I have to deal with you. I get out of bed every day. I go to school every day. I go home. I haven't given into you yet. Someday's I look like a complete mess others I look completely put together. Because of you, I have that mechanical smile to make others think that I am doing great. I use that same mechanical smile almost every day. I may not be okay mentally, but others, I will never let them see me down. I REFUSE to be WEAK. I refuse to let others see me when I am down. I am not going to be the next statistic to suicide.
Everybody's demons are different mine are simple, the fight to survive mentally. You are my demon Depression. I am never going to be okay. But the fight is all about hanging on the days that are worst. I refuse to let others see me for what I am. I choose to fight, I choose not to let others get to me, I choose to be okay. I may be dying in the pits of h*ll on the inside but on the outside I will never let it be seen. So Depression, I will be okay I will not let you get to me. I wont give in to you and your little things that you do to make me wanna quit. Do you know why Depression? It's simple really, I may not like to let others see me for everything I feel I am worth, but I have a few people for when the days I just wanna quit they are there to help me stand and still kick your booty. Because I am important, I am going to be okay, I wont give in to you ( nor will I ever), and I will survive. They may be able to see through my mechanical smile and my mask of happiness, but they keep me standing. I may not say "Thank you" to them enough for all that they do, but that at the end of the day if I called them they would come running just to help me kick your butt. So Depression, do you know what I say to you? NOT TODAY DEPRESSION!
To all those that struggle, you are NOT ALONE, you will be OKAY, and NEVER GIVE IN TO OUR mutual friend Depression.
- Sarah A. Furlong
(Picture found on google do not own rights)
