I know what it is you're feeling...or not feeling. Maybe you've got emotion bleeding from every part of you, and it's just too much today. Or, maybe you feel nothing at all, searching for something that makes you feel human again. Either way, depression can hold you hostage in your bed, on your couch, on the kitchen floor, staring at the stove light.
Some would look at your behavior and call it lazy, but you probably feel anything but lazy.
You may not have washed your hair in a few days, or your bedroom might look like a tornado of dirty dishes and laundry. But, depression is a lot of work and neurotypical people can't understand just how much effort you put into doing everyday tasks. Just know that you're not alone in your lethargy. Many others around the world are in the same spot you are, hoping they're not the only person that feels like this.
I want to encourage you to do the thing that you really don't want to do right now. You don't have to get everything done today, or do as much as your friends do, or as much as people say you should do. Only you live in your body; you know what your limits are.
Start with something simple, like putting your feet on the floor.
For you, on some days, that is a small victory that can be truly celebrated. If you can stand up and move around, do something nice for your body. Brush your teeth. Comb out your hair so it's nice and shiny. Stand under the shower head and use your favorite soap. If you're still doing alright after that, challenge yourself to move around. Stretch. Go outside and let the sunshine meet your skin. Ride a bike. Even though that probably sounds like the worst idea ever right now, I know that your mind and body will thank you. You might even become motivated to get something done that you've been dreading for days, weeks or even months. Pay that bill. Text that friend. Make that appointment. I promise you'll feel better with a little weight taken off your shoulders.
Do you see how one small decision to stand up can lead to a completely different track for your day? Every little thing you do today is something you can be proud of. Don't let those who don't understand or don't want to understand inhibit your progress. And, if you don't think that anyone else is proud of you, I am proud of you. Good job today.
