Being depressed in college is hard. The little things are amplified and everything feels like its crumbling down at any point. The fits of sadness come fast and they come hard. I’ve been struggling with depression for the past four years. My senior year in high school is when I first tried to kill myself. Every fall since then has been progressively worse and this year is the year that I made the decision to tell someone who could get me help.
Being a Christian who is depressed can make you really stop and think. Isn’t God supposed to be enough? Isn’t he supposed to bring you eternal happiness? Why do I actually feel like this?
Tell someone ASAP when it hits. You don’t have to do it alone. When you feel alone, call your mom. Call your dad. Call your best friend.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
In this Bible verse, it doesn’t say, “Be strong all the time. Always be happy because I’ll make you happy all the time.” It says “I will strengthen you. I will help you.” That implies that we will stumble. We will be sad. That’s why he’s there, to “uphold [us] with [his] righteous right hand,” when we need him.
Pray.
“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” – Psalm 34:17
Since prayer is simply a conversation between you and God, let him know how you’re feeling. If you give all the authority over your sadness, it lifts a weight off your shoulders. When you give him that authority, you don’t feel like you have to dwell on it by yourself. It doesn’t make the sadness go away all the time, but it can allow you to feel differently.
The next thing I want to clear up is that happiness is much different than the joy that God promises us in the Bible. Happiness is a temporary feeling of things going right. Being depressed, I have definite times of happiness along with my moments of sadness. I have joy in the Lord and the hope that my eternity is going to be in Heaven, living in complete happiness and joy found in God.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2-3
God says we will suffer. He says that things will be hard. The verse doesn’t say “if you face trials or sadness or depression or hurt, consider it joy,” he says “WHENEVER you face trials…” Another is example is this:
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” – 1 Peter 4:12-13
The verse even draws to the reader’s attention that they shouldn’t think that trials are something strange that is happening to just them.
That being said, being sad is OK, it’s how you handle it. Self-harm and isolation are not OK. When we are down, that is when we need to lean into God and use our community to lift us up with encouragement and love. Crying is OK and being sad is OK, but we need to get past it and not let that control our lives.
Mental illness does not make you weird. The verse in 1 Peter confirmed that. “Do not be surprised …as though something strange were happening to you.” A lot of people have fits of depression or anxiety and it’s OK if you need medication for a little while to push you out of that.
The church can have a negative view of medication but what people have to realize is that depression is a chemical imbalance. It is something medically wrong with you that has physical and mental effects. Dealing with the mental effects of your sadness is one thing, but to balance your brain, medication could help. It’s not recommended for everyone, but if that’s what you need and what a doctor recommends, it is nothing to be ashamed of.
No one else knows exactly what you’re going through. That’s why you need to let people in. Let people try to understand how it feels. They will never understand because no two cases are the same, contrary to what other people may tell you. All depression affects people differently.
The most important thing is that you are not alone.
“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” – Psalm 40:1-3
Things may seem hard now but pressing into the Lord’s love and grace at this moment is what can give you hope that the future will be better than what things feel like now.
Last year, I got this verse tattooed on my foot because of my silent struggle, and it is a reminder every day, that God is for me and I will fight this with his help and not my own.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
