I Had To Lose My Social Media In Order To Find Myself
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Health and Wellness

I Had To Lose My Social Media In Order To Find Myself

Twitter fingers turn to trigger fingers: How social media killed a part of me.

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I Had To Lose My Social Media In Order To Find Myself
kaimantha on Unsplash

I deleted my Instagram and Twitter account this past November. Not just the apps but the literal accounts. Gone and forgotten.

And you may need to, too.

To this day, I still get crazy looks when I mention that I deleted my accounts and I chose not to create new ones until recently. My go-to explanation was that I needed to focus on studying for finals but it was much deeper than that.

I was feeling stagnant — constantly saying I'll break this cycle and this habit and start practicing XYZ, but my words held no worth. I was saying all these wants and goals but I wasn't taking any of the necessary steps to achieve them. For example, I wanted to write more and I felt a blog or a journal would help hold me accountable to actively write. Rather than actually writing and brainstorming on my blog, I was scrolling and scrolling and scrolling endlessly on Instagram. Aside from spending hours on social media and not being productive, I didn't realize that what I was liking and/or retweeting was having a negative impact on me.

Subconsciously, social media was where I looked to receive approval. Twitter set a lot of standards for me: how a guy should treat you, where you need to be in life when you reach a certain age, how you should uphold yourself as a woman, etc. It was mostly misinformation and personal opinions but what I saw was held truth. According to Twitter, I currently failing in life TERRIBLY.

And I know some of you feel the same when it comes to looking for societal approval without even realizing it. It wasn't until I looked back at how I handled certain situations that I realized this isn't me. I wasn't in the mindset to where I could read those tweets and still be strongly in tune with my personal identity. I realized I was constantly conforming and trying to fit this societal mold but it was and still is futile. One standard mentioned today will be completely opposite tomorrow.

I knew if I wanted to take this journey to inner peace with myself, I would need to take the time to learn myself and if social media was blocking me from getting closer to my goal, I needed to get rid of it. So I would delete the apps from my phone but I would re-download them within a few weeks. It wasn't until that moment during the last week of November when I was fed up with being stagnant and deleted my accounts.

There were many moments I would unlock my phone and my thumb would hover over the screen, searching for Instagram or Twitter. Honestly, I still do it now! But eventually, I was so bored with looking at Pinterest, Facebook, and Snapchat that I started to brainstorm on my blog and brand. I started to journal more, watch self-improvement YouTube videos, listen to some uplifting podcasts, or read some informative and encouraging articles.

I'm not anywhere near my goals but I'm much closer than I was a few months ago! I felt like I should be vulnerable and share this struggle with you all. Why? Because it shows that I'm human. I make mistakes. I have issues and I don't have all the answers but I'm taking steps to improve them. And that first step is to acknowledge your roadblocks and then tackle them.

What is blocking you from reaching your goals? It doesn't have to be social media like me; it can be as simple as napping too often to holding on to parasitic relationships.You can share with a supportive friend or just reflect silently. Regardless of how you go about acknowledging these roadblocks, you need to be vulnerable, at least with yourself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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