I have always had self-diagnosed "social media anxiety." There is nothing scarier to me than posting a picture or story on Instagram, and my roommates can attest to my miniature panic attacks every time I share something on my feed. Of course, there is no rational explanation for my fear. The reality is, no one cares about my life or what I post half as much as I think people do. I spend so many minutes of my life editing photos and thinking of captions, trying to depict to others a perfect version of myself. I want everyone to look at my social media and believe that my life is just as amazing as I make it out to be.
When I heard of The Odyssey, I wanted to join immediately because of the opportunities it provides professionally, creatively, and socially. However, something kept holding me back. I have known this platform exists for a full year, and I knew that joining would make me happy, and yet I could never commit. The more I thought about why I was being so hesitant, I realized the only factor holding me back has been the requirement to share my blog posts on social media. Recently, I came to a conclusion.
This is ridiculous.
I genuinely am an extremely happy person. None of the content I have posted on social media is fake, but it is filtered and selective. A blog, however, is much more real and far more personal. This is perhaps the scariest part of embarking on this experience. Not only will I be posting more often, but the content will be more than simply a filtered photo with a vague caption followed by a heart emoji. And while this blog is edited and approved, it is also so much more of me than any other type of post.
When I came to my previous conclusion that my fear of posting is ridiculous, I also realized that I am so much more than what my social media portrays. Right now, all anyone would gather from my feed is that I, 1. Am an obnoxious sorority girl, 2. Am very good friends with my roommates, and 3. Have a boyfriend who maybe does not go to Butler. While these are all (mostly) true facts, these three things by no means define who I am. What people do not get to see are all the other organizations on-campus I am extremely passionate about, or my favorite places I have discovered in Indianapolis, or the countless other amazing individuals I am friends with. And now people will.
So here is to stepping (way) outside of comfort zones and trying new things. Here is to coming to terms with the fact that people do not care about my social media at all. Here is to voluntarily adding more writing onto my course load and joining yet another organization. Here is to finding a voice, to being vulnerable, and to being a more authentic me.
I am excited for people to get to know her.
