On December 18, 2017, beloved K-Pop star Kim Jonghyun, well renowned as a member of the Korean band SHINee, committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. He was only 27. He was even better known for his bubbly and kind personality that shed light on mental illness, and he used his voice to stand up for the LGBTQ+ community and those with mental illnesses. Yet no one knew about the demons he was fighting on his own.

No one saw it coming. Not even me — an avid K-Pop lover and Shawol (SHINee fan). When I first heard about it, I was shocked. I was making my way to my bus stop that morning when I decided to checkup on several of the group chats I placed on mute the night prior. I opened up the first chat and noticed a screenshot a friend has sent. It blared, "SHINee's Jonghyun Found Dead." I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. I immediately jumped onto Safari and all I saw were more news articles. Words swirled around my head —"dead," "suicide," "depression," "hospital." And finally, when SHINee's record label SM Entertainment released an official statement, I had no choice but to believe it. The next day, a suicide note was released.

It ended with a simple: "Tell me this is enough, that I did well."

It's been a few weeks, and while it is still difficult to come to terms with his death, it has made me realize just how brutal the Korean entertainment industry is. South Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world, and most of that can be seen due to pressure in the education system as well as the entertainment industry. Men and women alike are pushed to the edge to have perfect bodies and jaw-dropping faces. Male idols even have to wear makeup to prove that their faces are as flawless as females'. Idols have to follow rigorous diets and extreme exercise regimes to be able to keep up with their comebacks and performances. In fact, most K-Pop idols spend years training together, starting at young ages around 10 to 13, before they debut as a group.

But to the outside world, they all seem like million-dollar Barbie and Ken dolls with cameras in their faces and fans throwing themselves at them. But no one knows about the pressure they face. One wrong move and their entire career can fall into shambles. Mistakes that regular people make are not as easily brushed off for idols. No dating. No scandals. No mistakes. Perfection is expected. Sometimes, perfection isn't enough. While I love K-pop groups like BTS, GOT7, EXO and Big Bang, I cannot deny the viciousness of the industry.

Kim Jonghyun's suicide needs to be a wakeup call for the entertainment industry. His suicide proves that what shows on camera is not what the person is truly feeling. If you search up any interview or any clip of Kim Jonghyun, you will find pure laughter and joy. All he ever did was smile, laugh and have fun with his team members and fans. Or so it seemed. You would never expected such a person to have any thoughts of taking their own life. But that's because the expectations are held so high for idols that we forget they're human. It's time for the expectations to change. It's time to realize that idols are human too. They make mistakes. They have flaws. And more than anything else, they have emotions. They have their own lives and their own problems. People need to respect that

"Don't let Kim Jonghyun be another statistic."

If you or someone you know may be suffering with depression or is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). There is always help.