Dear Nutritional Conspiracy Theorists,

Hello. You are many, and you are everywhere, but I greet you today from a non-sensationalized point of view, something that may be slightly foreign to you. Your reach spans from the bookstore shelves to magazine articles, to commercials and TV appearances, to perhaps your most notorious hangout, countless blogs and seemingly "legitimate" websites on the internet. I have not met one of you yet that is a registered dietitian, but I'm sure that is just a coincidence (sarcasm). Nevertheless, I have come to give you some pointers. If you want to win me over to your arguments, you're going to have to step up your game.

The first issue I am going to address is your claim that the big food and medicine industries are out to make us sick with fake food and drugs to cause us harm. Yes, I have heard the story. One company owns all our food and is poisoning us, real food is raw, big pharma is out to just make us sick and keep taking our money, as is the entirety of the medical industry. Yes, each and every one of those doctors, surgeons, pharmacists, and even dietitians that are part of this medical community all spent their time and money going to school for the sole intent of causing cancer and other diseases in the general public, including their own families, for a quick dollar. I am sure none of them continued in their studies because they actually cared about people and their wellbeing. How heartless.

On the topic of monetary motivation, however, it is interesting to note how so many of your articles have multiple convenient links to and pictures of the books you have authored about your subject. After all, if someone was truly concerned about the wellbeing of the general public, he or she definitely would save some of that vital information only for those willing to support the books authored in your questionable credentials. Now the FDA and USDA? Right, do not let me get you started on the evils of the Federal Drug Administration, or the United States Department of Agriculture. You have already so graciously warned us about their vices, and how they hide the truth, unlike you. Another interesting tidbit, though, is that the federal government, so conspicuously framed as hiding health-promoting information, has thousands or more of published research articles on various subjects, many of which are available full-text, free of charge. Every published article and study is supposed to disclose any possible conflict of interest, and most of the time, there does not seem to be one.

Second, I would like to address how dramatic your arguments are. Is the discussion at hand a scientifically-researched medical review or the plotline for an episode of Law & Order? (I don't really watch Law & Order, my point was some sort of dramatic TV show, but you get what I am trying to say.) Oh, this group of foods causes cancer? Could you please point me to the double-blind, placebo-controlled studies with statistically significant results that support this conclusion? You can't? That's right, the federal government is hiding information, of course. Seriously though, there is all kinds of nutrition research being done every day, and sometimes, there is some degree of truth in what you may be saying. Allow me to give an example. One article claimed that a study confirmed that a "Trans Fats Policy Killed Millions." That's a bit dramatic. Looking at the actual article, a retrospective observational study found a correlation between decreased trans fat intake following a New York restriction for restaurant usage, and hospital heart attack admissions. By nature of the methods alone, we cannot confirm causality. However, the inferences drawn supporting the possible deleterious effects of trans fats are plausible. We have to leave the statement at that because genetics definitely plays a role in health too. People eat cake with icing all the time (hello, trans fats!) and can live a long time. Drinking a bottle of bleach, however, likely will kill you. We can pretty definitively assert that statement. With trans fats, it is more of how much one is consuming, in conjunction with their genetic predisposition to cardiovascular complications, that can determine how much of a danger trans fats are to an individual's health. See? You had a fair point that could be made, you just ran with it so far to the extreme that it makes people like me want to automatically dismiss everything you say. The rest of your article had some other points taken out of context and to an extreme, and of course that article would not be complete without an advertisement for that shiny new book of yours at the end, but baby steps. Less drama might equal more credibility.

I have one last tip or request for you today. Can we cool it with the "detoxes?" You realize what the liver does, right…? And you wouldn't have to drink all of that kombucha at the end to replenish the bacteria in your gut to help you digest your food if you wouldn't have done that cleanse in the first place…? Now, if we are suffering from liver failure and you have some toxins building up in your body because the body cannot detoxify itself, we have a bigger problem that might benefit from a visit to your local hepatologist, but we should probably rethink calling all kinds of foods "toxic" when the human body actually needs food to live…?

Sincerely, just a dietetics student.

P.S. Just because someone is a medical doctor (MD) or bra specialist does not make them an expert in nutrition. I am not saying that there are not medical doctors with an extensive understanding of nutrition and the human body. Let's be fair, I'm still learning too. I am just a student. Just be careful what you read and believe.

P.S.S. Hey, look! I'm not trying to sell you anything at the end of this article!