Dear Future Me, 2031

I am writing you this letter to remind you of your ideals and expectations of how you wanted to be living at 35 years old, back when you were 20.

I hope your life is going well. I hope you are happy and have said goodbye completely to your depression (and anxiety, but I won’t push it).

1. Career. I hope you are successful in your career. Maybe things will have changed in 15 years, but if you remember, at 20 years old I’m undeclared in my major hoping to get into the nursing program at ESU. Although maybe finding out about Public Health turned into a career, and you’re helping the community fighting diseases. Maybe, just maybe, you went through with publishing a book and you’re a semi-famous author. Whatever it is that you do, I hope you’re happy and successful. I hope you don’t stray from your career, even as hard as that may be sometimes. Remember back at 20, how your future career was so important to you? I hope you haven’t forgotten that passion to make something out of yourself. And by “successful”, I don’t necessarily mean rich or wealthy. I hope you excel at whatever you’re doing and have the respect of your coworkers.
2. Lifestyle. I hope you have a little more poise than the elders in your 20s. I hope you have all your priorities straight, pay your bills on time, and show the people in your life you care about them. I hope your house is clean and organized, and I hope you are on top of everything. I hope you have nice things but are not snobby. I hope you have a close circle of friends and manage to get together weekly.
3. Parenting. I hope your kids are #1 above all else. I hope you cherish them and spoil them without letting it affect their humility. I hope you listen to them and make them feel important. I hope you play with them, and also teach them everything you know (at their level). I hope you answer their every question, and read to them every night before bed no matter what else you have to do. I hope you treat them like the miracles they are, because no child should have to feel unworthy of their parent’s attention.
   1. If you have a son: I hope you support him. If he wants his room to be blue and green like the Earth, or if he wants to join gymnastics, or if he wants to play the oboe- I hope you support him as best you can. Let him try any activity he wants, who knows what passion or career it could inspire. And when he gets older and starts to be interested in dating, let him know that his sexual orientation doesn’t matter but his behavior does. If he wants to date a girl, teach him to be respectful. If she says no, teach him that girls who play games for your attention are not worthy of your attention. If he wants to date a guy, remind him that not everyone may be aware of their orientation yet. Remind him that, after a rejection, there are billions of people in the world and the world is much bigger than his school. When he starts high school, try and educate him about drugs. Tell him you won’t be mad if he tries, but tell him you just want to be involved. Tell him that there are better things to do with his free time. When he graduates high school, hug him tight and tell him how proud of him you are. Once he’s 18, encourage him to get a job if he hadn’t already. Don’t force him to go to college if he doesn’t want, but do suggest he tries a semester of community college just to see if it’d be something he would be interested in. And above all else- never make him feel like his mother is not there for him.
   2. If you have a daughter: I hope you are open and warm. I hope you support whatever she wants to try- soccer, dance, basketball, whatever. Have her play dress-up but stress that make-up is not what makes her pretty. Never put the idea in her head that she needs something to make her pretty. When she gets older and gets her period- tell her that it’s just something that happens in her body. Don’t tell her she’s becoming a woman- don’t sexualize her ever, especially not this young. When she gets her first crush, tell her there will be more and this is not the end of the world. Don’t assume her orientation- don’t force her into this mold of who you think she should be. When she starts high school, explain to her how people will change and how, as it may seem clichéd, she should focus on her schoolwork. Tell her no person is worth getting in the way of her education. Teach her the ways of feminism as well as how she should be treated.
4. Spouse: I hope your husband is everything you dreamed he would be. You remember being a little girl and all the hopes and dreams you had of him? I hope he exceeds them by a long shot. I hope he surprises you with flowers or a bath drawn. I hope he supports your dreams and calms your nerves. I hope he remains faithful. I hope you can talk to him about anything, and if things get rough I hope he doesn’t give up. I hope he motivates you and inspires you. I hope he’s your best friend. I hope he makes you feel like a princess. I hope you guys find time for each other
5. You. I hope you take care of yourself. Good showers, something to relax your mind. I hope you try to eat somewhat healthy. I hope you stay true to yourself.

With all of your kids- be open and honest with them. Tell them about mental health, your past with everything. Impart your wisdom without preaching. Most importantly, always love and support them.

Love,

20 year old you