Dear Depression, Sincerely, Me

Dear Depression, Sincerely, Me

It's time we've had a talk.

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Dear Depression,

You have an unfortunate place in my soul and that's something I find hard to ignore. There are days I forget about you, as you become quiet inside me. There are days where I wish you would just leave me alone. The ups and downs are the hardest part. I want consistency with you without becoming a medicated version of myself.

You have a way of making my worst relationships seem like they were a cakewalk compared to the way you make me feel. I've listened to your voice for years, listening to the hateful things you say about me. I believe those words sometimes, and those are the days I just want to hide. I can't ignore your words when you scream them at me. I can't cover them with positive affirmations because I won't believe them. I just need you to stop and think about how you make me feel about myself.

I miss the days before you became a part of me. I was happier, I never heard your hurtful words. I loved myself before you and I didn't feel so alone. You made me into a ghost of the girl I used to be. A ghost of my past, my happiness, my love for myself. You invaded my body with your toxicity. You created a negative space that I couldn't love. You changed me.

Depression, I want to be myself again. I want to be happy with who I am. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love the person I see. You have controlled me for far too long. I am taking control of my life, my brain and my happiness. You are no longer telling me that I'm worthless and that no one loves me. I am not worthless and a lot of people love me.

Depression, this is the last time I'll speak to you before you receive an eviction notice.

Sincerely,

The girl who wants to be happy without you

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A Recent Sports Bra Suspension At Rowan University Has Gotten Female Athletes Outraged

A recent ban was placed on the Men and Women's Cross Country Athletes from using their designated practice facility.

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UPDATE: Following the publication of this article, Rowan University administration has released a statement ending the sports bra ban and a statement regarding the usage of athletic facilities by the Cross Country team.

If you're running in a sports bra, then you must be asking for it, right? Well, according to a football player at Rowan University, this is true.

I'll have you know the real reason women run in sports bras, and it's not to show off our hard-earned abs. Women, whether they have a six-pack or not, run in sports bras because, quite frankly, it's hot outside. We run in sports bras because our workouts are demanding, challenging, and vigorous.

We run in sports bras because we are confident, hardworking student-athletes.

We do not run in a sports bra as a way to show off our bodies in attempts to distract men.

Out of the 15 Rowan University Women Cross Country athletes, all of them believe running in sports bras at practice should be allowed. Even the girls who don't partake in shirtless runs at practice still believe the other members of the team should be permitted to wear whatever they feel confident in.

The Cross Country team at Rowan is one of the only teams that is not provided with a daily uniform to practice in. With that being said, how is it expected for the women on this team to partake in an non-existing dress code?

A meeting was held with the Women's Cross Country Coach and the Athletic Director to address this issue resulting in the verdict of the women on the team no longer being able to run in sports bras. If that wasn't already enough of an outrage, it was also decided the women were no longer allowed to run on the track.

Women running around the track in sports bras at their own practice were claimed to be distracting to the football players on the field during the same time.

As if the women no longer being able to run in sports bras wasn't enough, now they're no longer allowed to run on the track, period. The girls are now mandated to run on the local high school track on workout days.

In 2015, Rowan University officially finished their new $4.6 million athletic practice facility. The practice facility includes two fields for football, soccer, field hockey, and lacrosse athletes. There is a dedicated practice area for each team. The men and women Cross Country teams have their track. Now they no longer have that privilege.

The problem here is not the women on the team. The problem is not the women wearing sports bras. The problem is not women's bodies.

Rape culture is the problem.

The fact that the Athletic Department supports the claim of this being distracting, or the women "asking for it," is disgusting. Mind you, the Athletic Department put together a video involving student-athletes addressing rape culture and how it is not tolerated here. Oh, is that so?

"As girls, we could look at the football team and say that their tight pants showing off everything is asking for it, but we don't. When we are on the track, we are doing a hard workout that requires all our focus, so we aren't looking at them and what they are doing. If they are distracted by us, then their practices clearly don't require their full attention, or they just aren't as committed to the sport." -Anonymous source

In the world of professional athletics, all female Elite runners are permitted to wear racing crop tops. Not only are they non-restricting, but they are a trendy, comfortable, and empowering part of the running culture.

As women, we are constantly reminded that we should be ashamed or embarrassed about our bodies. It's 2018, and yet women are still being objectified with their physical appearance.

As a nation, we are taking a step back into history, and as a University, we are teaching student-athletes that this is acceptable.

The women on this team not only represent the University but the growing community of female runners. It's time women are allowed to embrace their bodies and not live in constant fear of being degraded by men.

Women, athletes or not, deserve to use their voice and take a stance. The future generations are watching. Let's set a good example.


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9 Things I Learned While Moving Into My First Apartment

Honey, you've got a big storm coming.

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If you're a college student like me, chances are you are going to be living in an apartment at some point to be near the school and experience living on your own. Even if you are taking a different route post-high school, you won't be a stranger to this new lifestyle. Whether you have plenty of roommates or are riding solo, the first few nights in your new home will be a mixed bag, but you'll get the hang of things eventually. I recently left the nest myself to land in my own place to live, and I have already learned so much more about adult life.

1. Things can get expensive pretty fast

money

Say it with me now: generic brand items are our friend. If it gets the job done, then you probably don't need to be spending the extra money to get something that is name brand. Remember, you have rent to pay now!

2. Stereo Guy will always have friends

noise

You may not hear them right away, but don't be too surprised if you're relaxing one night only to be met with blasted music (with much more lyrical clarity and less bass than last year's living situation).

3. Familiar items make a new place a home

furniture

If you're prone to getting homesick like I am, then fill your apartment with some of your favorite furniture or possessions so you have something that reminds you of home no matter how far away you are.

4. Then again, you'll be reminded of just how much stuff you have

overwhelmed

I hate to break it to you, but unpacking will probably take longer than you expect it to. My advice would be to focus on one box to completion so your mind isn't trying to find space for both clothes and knick-knacks at the same time.

5. It's OK to cry, and you should probably let it out anyway

cry

Bottling up your emotions is never healthy. You're going through a difficult transition and its inevitable to make mistakes, so don't be too hard on yourself and allow natural emotions to run their course before picking yourself up again.

6. You'll be surprised what chores come up way sooner than you thought they would

chores

First, you're going to develop a schedule for when you want to clean and how often. Now once you're moved in, throw that all out the window. Dirt tracked inside, dusty dishes, things to wipe off, etc.; these are just a few things you may find yourself doing within the early days of apartment-living.

7. You'll get quite the workout on move-in day

moving

I'm talking cardio, weight lifting, and a lot of repetition. Try to find out if your apartment complex has an elevator to go with the stairs, or else you're in for a long day.

8. Leave early to work so you have time to find a new route

driving

You don't want to start your work day feeling frustrated and worked up, so try to give yourself as much time as possible to navigate towards your place of business. As you continue to do this, try taking different but similar routes in order to familiarize yourself with the area if you're not a local.

9. At the end of the day, you'll be extremely proud of yourself and how far you've come

tough

I can do something as basic as making myself a hot dinner, and I'll be dancing around the kitchen saying "Look at that, kiddos! Look what I did!" You're going to have some tough times ahead of you, so celebrate the small things when you can. Eventually, you'll be saying something like "Wow, look who's doing taxes!"

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