Dear Clowns | The Odyssey Online
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Dear Clowns
howstuffworks.com

Really? Really? Do you really have to do all this? I don’t see the point of all this. So let me get this straight, some of you are just trying to scare people as a prank, not actually trying to cause physical harm, some of you are trying to kidnap and kill people, and the rest of you are probably entertainment clowns not the scary kind. I heard the police are starting to give people permission to fight back, even shoot you guys if you are seen.

To the clowns trying to just scare people. Do you really want to risk your life for a simple, silly prank? People are starting to get really annoyed and upset. I can't speak for the rest of the country but I know that in Chicago when people get annoyed and upset, the people who are upsetting them end up hurt. I know you think it's funny watching people freak out but, you are just trying to ruin someone's day and when you put that much negative energy into the universe it's all going to come back at you somehow. You better hope that it isn't in the form of someone's fist or bullet. I think you guys are mean people, but not horrible, so I hope you decide to stop now before someone tries to hurt you.

To the clowns trying to hurt or kidnap people. What is wrong with you? I remember there being murderous, kidnapping clowns back in the early 2000s, but I thought we left that back with boy bands and "Lizzie McGuire." Now you guys are just horrible people. I don't condone violence or killing people, so I don't wish death on you, but I do hope that some sort of justice comes to you. Maybe it will be the cops, they started arresting clowns. Maybe it will be a group of teenagers who are over trying to run from you, so instead they turn around and beat you with a bat. Who knows? But I do think that you will have some sort of negative something happen to you.

To the clown whose job it really is to be a clown. Maybe you work kids' parties, or you're in the circus, who know, but you have to dress up like a clown on a daily basis. I'm sorry on behalf of the jerk clowns. They are making your job a lot more difficult than it needs to be. My suggestion to you is to wait to put your make-up and costume on until you really have to because they are just going to start shooting people in these clown streets and you don't want to be caught in the crossfire. That’s all the advice I can give. Hold on and try not to scare anyone.

At this point, the problem you are causing has gotten so big that police are arresting clowns immediately, people are jumping them, and women who are wearing a lot of make-up are being shot because people mistake them for clowns. See how ridiculous this situation you are causing has gotten. Our country is already in a horrible state to we really need more issues over here? I know the idea of being the start of a horror film is enticing but just be normal and go to auditions. You are going to continue to get normal people killed and that’s just going to make people more angry and they will really start trying to hurt you. I'm just saying, I'm trying to warn you. Stop being a jerk and put the clown costume away.

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