Dear boy,

To the one who started off sweet.

Like a sucker.

Suckers are sticky

Suckers catch flies

Suckers are sweet and then, goodbye.

Maybe cherry, blue berry, green apple? It doesn’t really matter because in the end it’s in your mouth and then it’s gone.

Bad relationships? We’ve all had them.

To the one who told you “you’re pretty but…”

Just so you know, the compliment before the “but” is meaningless once you add the

“you could lose some weight”

“maybe you should try some makeup”

“your clothes could use some work”

Maybe I eat to counteract my anxiety,

Maybe I don’t like makeup because I never had a parent to teach me how to wear it,

Maybe I dress this way because I can’t afford clothes from anywhere but Goodwill,

Or maybe I like the way I am, and don’t need your opinion.

Just maybe.

To the one who cheated on you.

Oh no, it’s okay.

I’m sorry if my body wasn’t good enough for you. Go ahead and find some better curves to scratch at.

It’s cool.

When my friends find me in the driveway with my hair in my hands instead of on my head I’ll just tell them—

Oh wait. I won’t tell them anything because they’ll be too busy holding me down while I scream watching you walk down the side walk like nothing ever happened.

Like I don’t exist.

Like you don’t know me.

Like we never had anything you used to call special, beautiful, something worth living for—

You know what? You became my reason for living.

You were the pillar of my foundation. You built my walls on you.

Brick by brick.

I never noticed you forgot to put in a door.

To the one who listened.

I’m sorry

You had to hear about them.

I didn’t know you loved me.

I’m sorry

I had to learn to love myself first, to rebuild the lost city of my soul before allowing occupants to roam freely in its streets.

I’m sorry

I didn’t love you the way you loved me. I wasn’t ready.

I’m sorry

We accept the love we think we deserve

But thank you

For your never ending patience

Thank you

For unconditional love

Thank you

For waiting when you didn’t have to

Thank you

For treating me with respect, not a fly caught on you

Thank you

For never saying “but” after a compliment, because you recognize a beauty in me that I am still yet to see

Thank you

For never cheating on me, and leaving me dark and closed in

Thank you

For listening.

Photo Courtesy of: Jonathan Gibson