18, you were a heck of a ride. That's an understatement. You taught me so much about how to be my most confident, authentic self. You have so much ahead of you, and you have no idea what's headed your way! That can be scary, but it can also be so rewarding. Trusting in God is THE BEST thing you could ever do.
This time last year was your senior trip. I bet you're thinking (and probably stressing) about your first year of college, your first step into adulthood. Little did you know it would be the first time in your life that you really began to understand and accept yourself. That anxiety that you felt about taking a step into the unknown was all-consuming, and I know you doubted that you could get through it. I know you wanted to plan out every single bit of your life because you wanted some control over it. But the truth is, life is not a checklist. You can't just focus on checking off all the boxes to make you feel happy. I know you tried to keep that locked away in your heart forever for no one to see. But that indescribable fear that you had about that first year of college is now gone. That anxiety that made your throat tight, headache, and stomach drop have diminished. And I still struggle with it today, but that is okay. Strive for progress, not perfection.
And stop beating yourself up. You are abusing yourself and letting those voices bring you down and control you. You have to quiet those voices. And look back on everything God blessed you with! You had an amazing year and you met so many amazing people. You did and experienced so many new things. But you still have some work to do. That's okay! Stop stressing about your grades. That perfectionism will take over your mind and make you lose your focus on what is really important. I know you're insecure, and I know that you try to hide it. Truth is, every single person is insecure. Every person is working on their confidence. Some people are better at hiding it than others.
And I get that as a triplet, it's going to be hard not to compare yourself to your siblings. But you need to start seeing yourself in a new way, like Britney, instead of the triplet. You've done everything together with your whole lives, but it's time for you to understand who you are without them and stop depending on them. It's going to be difficult going to college without your siblings by your side, but you're going to learn so much about yourself along the way. You're going to gain some new skills, and you're going to have to do some things that you'll absolutely hate, like that one college math class. You thought you'd fail since it was your least favorite subject in school. That sucked, but you made an A in that class!
I also know you're learning how to thrive as a highly sensitive person. Being part of the tiny percentage of people who experience sensory overload may make you feel like an alien. I totally get it. But embrace it. God gave that to you as a gift because your big, passionate heart will drive you to do amazing things and help people. God gave that to you because He knew that you could use that gift to help your future students and make them feel listened to and loved. Your future students are rooting for you, trust me. Although your pessimism may knock you down at times, your heart for teaching and helping others will overcome. Kindness is free. Love is free. Your empathy for others is something some people struggle to have. So cherish it. The people that judge you for the size of your heart really just have insecurities of their own.
Overall, I'm grateful for what's happened, what's happening, and what's to come. 18, you were just the beginning of a new chapter. Heck, it was a new story. 19, bring it on. Here's to new adventures.
Feminism Redefined
