The Insider View On Dating Someone Who Is Transgender
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

The Insider View On Dating Someone Who Is Transgender

It brings a sense of closeness as well as connection because not only is our relationship developing, I am developing with him and we go through this journey together.

The Insider View On Dating Someone Who Is Transgender

Many people do not quite understand what comes with being transgender, or dating someone who is. I am a very liberal, and open minded person, and I have many friends that are part of the LGBTQ community, but I am no expert on it. Dating someone who is transgender has taught me so much, not only about the transgender community, but also about myself and the true meaning of unconditional love.

I have been dating my boyfriend since July of last year, we became friends a couple months before that and I knew him as a female and by his birth name. A while before we started dating he told me he was transgender, and explained how he had felt this way for so long. It was no surprise to me, seeing him slowly become more of himself over the past months showed me how much happier he was being masculine. I didn't exactly know what dating someone who is transgender would entail, but I learned over time. It was an adjustment changing from his birth name to his name now and to he/him pronouns, and I would be lying if I said i didn't mess up more than a few times. We had conversations about what steps he wanted to take to transition and be comfortable in his own skin, or be happy with himself. I did my research to try to be as understanding and supportive as I could. There was a lot of things I didn't know about hormone replacement therapy, surgeries, legal steps, name and gender marker changes, the list goes on.

Dating someone who is transgender is not easy (love, if you're reading this I am sorry). He has mood swings, confidence issues, internal vs external controversy, he gets misgender sometimes, every day is a battle for him. Being in a serious relationship with someone who can be so distant sometimes is difficult, but it is also so rewarding. I have been by his side for his first time he looked in the mirror and saw that his chest is flat, to seeing his first shot of testosterone, and the most recent being one month on testosterone and hearing his voice crack much more frequently. I have seen this lovely human blossom from an introverted, anxious, self conscious boy who was scared to be himself, to an extroverted, humorous, loving, caring man and the changes that have happened for him internally are extraordinary.

I am fortunate enough that I don't feel this kind of disconnection with my body, but loving someone who does feel that is the best thing, because I can see in his eyes just how much he doesn't love himself somedays and it breaks my heart because even when he calls himself "a man with breasts", all I see is a man perfectly made, no matter what. I feel the pain he feels when he struggles, and I feel the frustration and annoyance with the transition just like he does. Being part of someone's transition is much different than the "normal" relationships, it brings a sense of closeness as well as connection because not only is our relationship developing, I am developing with him and we go through this journey together. I am so grateful to have this man in my life and I cannot wait to see what changes are in store for us as this journey continues.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments