I grew up reading Laura Ingalls books and falling in love with the idea of “courting.” I thought how Almanzo taking her on a buggy ride everyday was the most romantic thing in the world, even though he was 25 and she was 15 so it was actually super inappropriate. I fell in love with the idea of love and dating and going on romantic dates. I became the typical romantic, but I hid it under a facade of tomboy antics and an adamant hatred of dresses and girly things. When I finally became a teenager, got my braces off, lost my middle school baby face, and started talking to guys, I realized something terrible: this dating culture is literally the worst. Now I can excuse the guys in high school, because they’re in high school. They’re just confused teenagers who haven’t fully learned how to treat and respect women yet. So the ones who would send me messages asking for nudes and sex, who disrespected me, and treated me like I was less than human, I got over pretty quickly. They're just stupid kids who will never get a woman for a long time.
What bothered me the most about high school dating was this stupid thing my generation invented called “talking.” The trope that older generations hold that millennials are the worst bothers me to no end because millennials are amazing and kind and open minded, but one thing I will never forgive my generation for is inventing the term “talking.” It is literally the same thing as being boyfriend and girlfriend except they call it “talking” because they’re afraid of commitment. The person that you're “talking” to you go on dates with, typically get physical with to an extent, post them on your social media, and stay loyal to. It’s literally dating without the labels. It is the stupidest thing ever. People, please call it what it is: dating.
Coming into college I was much wiser and much more of a woman. I was confident and I knew what I wanted with men, for the most part. Still, the dating culture in college surprised me to an extent. It’s kind of amazing how many men are willing to ask a woman for sex before even asking for her last name. It didn’t necessarily surprise me, but the amount of guys doing it surprised me.
When it came to actual dating it was also slightly disappointing. I had grown up from the hopeless romantic attitude that I had had earlier in my life. My ideal date wasn’t a romantic dinner, it was just a night where I could have fun with a guy. Being in the city is the best because the greatest dates occur when you can walk around the city for hours and go to random places. The best dates I’ve been on we didn’t plan beforehand, we went to new places, and spent the entire night laughing and having fun, but this is hard to find. The dating culture in college is either straight-up hooking up, chilling in a dorm while watching Netflix, or getting food somewhere. It’s difficult to find someone who you can click with and feel comfortable with, people don’t ask each other out on real dates anymore, and it’s hard to tell if a person is just leading you on in hopes that they’ll get sex. It's a very confusing and difficult time for dating and trying to find a relationship with someone you can trust.
Dating is difficult, guys are dumb, girls are also dumb, basically everybody is dumb, and no one knows what they’re doing with life. So to survive dating in college, you need to focus on your friendships, yourself, and enjoying life. If you constantly find yourself trying to force romance out of a guy you are going to be miserable. If you find someone you can have a lot of fun with, keep following that feeling and do adventurous and new things together. A relationship will happen naturally and probably very randomly. Also, most importantly, if a guy texts you “wyd” at 2 a.m., DON’T REPLY.
