Why We Need To Stop Running From Love
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Swoon

It's A LOT Easier To Run Than Date In 2019, But Finding Love's The Only Cardio You Can Put Me Down For

Dating in 2019 is hard AF and running is so easy, but are we trained not to stay?

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It's A LOT Easier To Run Than Date In 2019, But Finding Love's The Only Cardio You Can Put Me Down For

Running is so easy. No, not literal running. Although sometimes it feels easier to accomplish a few mile run over putting yourself out there in the dating scene.

I think it's human nature — our fight or flight instincts. And so many of us follow the "flight" response when the going gets tough. Because we now live in an era where nearly everything can be replaced. Jobs, cars, homes, relationships. Not working out for you? No worries there's a new one just around the bend.

But what happens when all you do is run? There's no depth, no consistency in your life. Everything is constantly changing and never has a moment to stay as is.

In the millennial generation, (which is mine, might I add) relationships and dating are just different. We date differently. We have been both blessed and cursed with the ability to meet new people at any given moment, all at the tip of our fingers. Dating apps, social media platforms — temptation is everywhere, chances and opportunities are everywhere.

But does that mean we have to act on all of them? Yet we do. We know with a few small searches we can still keep tabs on our exes, stalk the girl who constantly likes our man's pictures, look into our new love interest's past.

The easier it is to search the faster we find red flags. But now everything is a red flag.

The way he responds to your text, when he views your story, what he doesn't do. The fine line of being too sensitive is a never-ending cycle.

We can't get out of our own way. But it's almost like we don't want to. Expectations become less and less. With accepting a text back or a Snapchat as a token of their love. What happened to real gestures? What happened to in-person communication? Now we all hide behind our small screens. Yet we still run.

We have an outlet to allow us to communicate differently... even less. Be less you, be less honest, be anyone you want to be.

It's this consistent war of not truly knowing what we want. It's the fine line between wanting a relationship and wanting to stay single, just to protect your heart. The way it starts seems to ass-backward. Getting into bed together before you know their life story. But is that wrong? Just because our dating is different, does it make it any less than our parents' dating ways?

Does it prevent any more divorces or cheating? It's not like social media introduced infidelity to the world. Or casual sex. But it does feel like it's compromised the value in commitment.

Everyone seems so replaceable. Even though you know that sting of a breakup is hard to remove, so is trying to forget the memories of someone you've spent so much time with. But replacing their spot in your bed is easy. Holding a different hand is just another gesture. Doing couple-ish things is a new adventure.

Dating now feels terrifying. Loyalty seems so rare, then when it's given you think there's a catch.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if loyalty shouldn't automatically come with the relationship. We glorify the idea of having plenty of people ready to fill your spot the minute things go south. But where is the commitment in that? Where is the fight? Why do we now have this new norm of lacking real commitment, real love, real respect?

We're all so used to running, we panic when things get too comfortable. When things begin to feel too good.

But that good feeling, that feeling when you finally meet a good one, when he naturally treats you right, without any hesitation. When it feels right just to be in his company, it starts to creep in. But you're still scared. And running is always in the back of your mind. Maybe his too.

That's the exhilarating part though — the fun, the unknown. What if? The part we all so vigorously try to escape. The part we all try to beat each other to, so we aren't the party left heartbroken. But really what is love without a little pain?

Where is the love if we never stop running?

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