When I look into your eyes, I see a flood of sadness erupting before me. And to know that I was the cause of this flood makes me sick to my stomach. I'm the one to be blamed.

I told you I'm not perfect. I'm not even close to perfection. When I was with you I tried so hard to be a better version of myself. I wasn't satisfied with who I was or what I did. I just wanted to move on and start fresh. And I wanted to protect you from my past, I didn't want you to see that side of me because I thought you wouldn't want me anymore.

I came too close to losing you. And I know saying sorry won't make you feel any better, but I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry.

That mistake isn't going to happen again. I want to prove to you that I'm being serious and that I'm not just saying these things to make you feel better momentarily.

I don't think I would ever be able to live with myself knowing what I did to you. I wasn't thinking. Those things were all just jokes and I never realized how terrible they were until they were out of context. I'm not making excuses, I just wanted you to know.

I'm walking on thin ice right now. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to win you back. I just hope that this goodbye doesn't mean forever.