The Place With The Cream Colored Walls

The Place With The Cream Colored Walls

Part 2

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She wakes up before the sun.

She walks over to the window and stares at the lake.

There is now a swan? A goose? She doesn't know, it's too far away.

The sun rises, and before she knows it, a new man comes into the room.

"Breakfast is here," he says before leaving the room again.

She brushes her teeth, showers, and yanks the comb through her hair before leaving.

She goes down the long, quiet hallway before finding everyone else.

There's a table of people, probably all in their 20s making noise and laughing.

She's handed a tray, a piece of paper, and plastic silverware.

She sits alone in the corner, observing everyone else.

She glances at the paper, "Menu for Tomorrow (Circle what you would like)".

They all sound good, but it's hospital food.

She flips the paper over and finds 1-5 scales with "How did you sleep? How are you doing? etc."

After she eats she runs back to her room.

She looks at the folder she was given when she got there.

Inside is a schedule; the next 3 hours are different group sessions.

Instead, she decides to read.

She allows herself to escape to a world of mystery and supernatural problems.

A man comes in, "group is starting in 5 minutes".

She tells him that she isn't going to go and continues to read.

He nods and backs out of the room.

He comes in every hour to convince her to go to the new group sessions.

Every time, she declines and continues reading.

Eventually, a nurse comes in and leads her to an office.

Blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen levels, and blood tests.

Then she is led to an office where a man is behind the desk.

He introduces himself as a psychiatrist before asking her a million questions.

"How are you doing? Are you settling in well? They say you read, what have you been reading?"

She answers in single word answers while staring at the ground.

After more questions, he diagnoses her, prescribes her medicine, and walks her to group.

On the way there, he tells her the importance of going to every group session.

"It is essential to recover," he tells her confidently.

They get to a room and he opens the door to reveal the group.

He pushes her slightly into the room before shutting the door behind her.

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Living Away From My Best Friend

13 hours and 17 minutes away

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13 hours and 17 minutes. That's about how long it would take me if I dropped everything right now and drove to my best friend. Thanks to technology, being a couple of states away isn't too bad. She's on a screen with a click of a button and we can talk all hours of the day. She's an hour ahead of me, so she tries to tell me the future, and she also brags about it being Christmas sooner. An advantage of her not being here is she can't smack me when I do something dumb, which I tend to do a lot, but we always have something to say since we aren't living the same experiences. There's different gossip, funny/stupid things that happened to us, events, etc. She's not there to break into my room and steal my food. Luckily, she's not here to force me to go shopping and drive me to be poorer than I am. She's there for every decision before I make it. Every Christmas gift sent through the mail is happily received when you realize it's not a bill.

Although it has its advantages of her being far away, it definitely has its disadvantages. There are so many moments where I just wish my best friend was at my side. Every breakup, every accomplishment, every emotionally charged moment, every milestone, every new relationship, every fun experience, every interesting new food, and everything else that we know the other would like. Those days when everything is falling apart and you need someone, a phone doesn't compare to showing up at your doorstep with all your favorite things and watching a movie. It's different celebrating an accomplishment through text when you could be out at your favorite restaurant together. Every new relationship is tough knowing your best friend isn't there to get an unbiased opinion of the person, and to help hide the body when they break your heart. Every moment she doesn't reply, you wonder if something happened to her and if you would be notified if she died.

There isn't a girls' night when I look like a mess. It doesn't make sense when I'm trying to describe someone she's never met. She doesn't know how gross it was that this guy flirted with me or how that piece of that girl's outfit looks terrible on her. We can't have Saturday nights out together or movie nights in. She's not here to wipe the tears of sadness or encourage the tears of laughter. It's impossible to surprise them with anything.

I'm terrible at fashion, makeup, trends, etc. while she knows it all. I know absolutely nothing when it comes to makeup, so it's hard asking for help when she can't color match in person. I can't help her with homework, sports, or art. We can't use our individual talents for each other. All of that is through a screen. A screen that can die. A screen that can malfunction. A little screen is all we rely on.

I guess the thing I've come to realize is that when one of us do go those 13 hours and 17 minutes or so, we definitely have to take advantage of it. We have to have our movie nights and makeovers. We have to blow all our money shopping and getting me all the makeup I had ever ask help for. We have to introduce every person we had previously mentioned through the screen. We have to celebrate all the accomplishments, meet boyfriends, and surprise each other with our favorite things.

Although it sucks being 13 hours and 17 minutes away, if it means keeping our friendship, I'm okay with there being distance.

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