How To Cope With A Separation/Break-Up

How To Cope With A Separation/Break-Up

Great advice by the Sorceress Medea

As you may already know, dealing with a separation or break-up is a matter that may lead to a tremendous amount of suffering. As someone whose husband abandoned her for another woman, I, Medea- daughter of King Aeetes of Colchis and granddaughter of the sun god Helios- know very well what it is like to go through an unexpected separation. Although it may appear to be impossible for you to ever recover from a break-up, I’m here to tell you that it is more feasible than you imagine it to be. By following the advices I have to offer you’ll recuperate from your recent separation faster than you’ve ever done before. So, worry not-for I have the answers you’ve been seeking for.

The first step to recovery requires one to allow themselves to wallow in the pain resulting from the absence of one’s partner. It is completely understandable for one to dramatically fling themselves to the ground, crying and questioning why things turned out the way they did. This was exactly what I did when my husband, the often praised hero Jason, decided to leave me and marry princess Glauce and I must confess that doing so really helped me heal. When crying it is important that you allow yourself to immerse in a heart-rending soliloquy during which you question your ex-partner’s rationality for leaving you. After hearing that Jason was going to abandon the children and me, I engaged in a horrendous fit of crying that often involved long speeches that I delivered to myself. It was through such self-directed conversations that I evaluated Jason’s lack of respect for our wedding vows. This first step is rather important as it will allow you to uncover your ex-partner’s unscrupulous nature.

The second step to recovery involves a civilized reunion with your ex-partner, during which you will discuss the reasons why they decided to leave. This will allow one to attain closure in the relationship. Jason and I had one of such casual and civilized encounters and it was then that he explained that it was best for him to marry princess Glauce, as this would allow him to ensure that our children would grow to be respected members of society. He urged me to set aside my futile emotions and understand that although he was going to wed another he was still willing to keep me as his mistress. Obviously, I refused the offer and Jason was incapable of understanding why I was being so “irrational”. Although, it may seem that this conversation between Jason and I was a colossal disaster I will point out that it instead was a crucial turning point in my process of moving on. It is then essential that you follow through this second step as it sets the stage for what is to be the closing act of your separation.

The third and last step to recovery is revenge. It’s important that your partner understands that they made a terrible mistake by leaving you and the only way for them to learn this lesson by you enacting your revenge. My revenge on Jason was simply wicked and it forever liberated me from the hold he had over me. I poisoned a crown and gown and asked my children to deliver it to Jason’s precious new bride as a gift. After receiving and wearing my presents the young princess passed away, along with her father- who was also poisoned while attempting to save his daughter. Once my children returned I murdered both of them as I knew this would drive Jason insane. With that my revenge was completed. Alright, I’m not saying you should also kill your children for the purpose of enacting revenge on your ex-partner. But, I’m not saying you shouldn’t either. Do whatever is best for you. Once you’ve completed this last step you will be able to declare that you have finally overcome your separation and you will be able to carry on with your life without any worries (this “no worries” portion specially applies to those of you who opted to sacrifice your children). That is all and I hope my advices will be helpful to you.

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9 Reasons Crocs Are The Only Shoes You Need

Crocs have holes so your swag can breathe.

Do you have fond childhood objects that make you nostalgic just thinking about your favorite Barbie or sequenced purse? Well for me, its my navy Crocs. Those shoes put me through elementary school. I eventually wore them out so much that I had to say goodbye. I tried Airwalks and sandals, but nothing compared. Then on my senior trip in New York City, a four story Crocs store gleamed at me from across the street and I bought another pair of Navy Blue Crocs. The rest is history. I wear them every morning to the lake for practice and then throughout the day to help air out my soaking feet. I love my Crocs so much, that I was in shock when it became apparent to me that people don't feel the same. Here are nine reasons why you should just throw out all of your other shoes and settle on Crocs.

1. They are waterproof.

These bad boys can take on the wettest of water. Nobody is sure what they are made of, though. The debate is still out there on foam vs. rubber. You can wear these bad boys any place water may or may not be: to the lake for practice or to the club where all the thirsty boys are. But honestly who cares because they're buoyant and water proof. Raise the roof.

2. Your most reliable support system

There is a reason nurses and swimming instructors alike swear by Crocs. Comfort. Croc's clogs will make you feel like your are walking on a cloud of Laffy Taffy. They are wide enough that your toes are not squished, and the rubbery material forms perfectly around your foot. Added bonus: The holes let in a nice breeze while riding around on your Razor Scooter.

3. Insane durability

Have you ever been so angry you could throw a Croc 'cause same? Have you ever had a Croc bitten while wrestling a great white shark? Me too. Have you ever had your entire foot rolled like a fruit roll up but had your Crocs still intact? Also me. All I know is that Seal Team 6 may or may not have worn these shoes to find and kill Osama Bin Laden. Just sayin'.

4. Bling, bling, bling

Jibbitz, am I right?! These are basically they're own money in the industry of comfortable footwear. From Spongebob to Christmas to your favorite fossil, Jibbitz has it all. There's nothing more swag-tastic than pimped out crocs. Lady. Killer.

5. So many options

From the classic clog to fashionable sneakers, Crocs offer so many options that are just too good to pass up on. They have fur lined boots, wedges, sandals, loafers, Maryjane's, glow in the dark, Minion themed, and best of all, CAMO! Where did your feet go?!

6. Affordable

Crocs: $30

Feeling like a boss: Priceless

7. Two words: Adventure Straps

Because you know that when you move the strap from casual mode chillin' in the front to behind the heal, it's like using a shell on Mario Cart.

8. Crocs cares

Okay, but for real, Crocs is a great company because they have donated over 3 million pairs of crocs to people in need around the world. Move over Toms, the Croc is in the house.

9. Stylish AF

The boys will be coming for you like Steve Irwin.

Who cares what the haters say, right? Wear with pride, and go forth in style.

Cover Image Credit: Chicago Tribune

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From One Nerd To Another

My contemplation of the complexities between different forms of art.


Aside from reading Guy Harrison's guide to eliminating scientific ignorance called, "At Least Know This: Essential Science to Enhance Your Life" and, "The Breakthrough: Immunotherapy and the Race to Cure Cancer" by Charles Graeber, an informative and emotional historical account explaining the potential use of our own immune systems to cure cancer, I read articles and worked on my own writing in order to keep learning while enjoying my winter break back in December. I also took a trip to the Guggenheim Museum.

I wish I was artistic. Generally, I walk through museums in awe of what artists can do. The colors and dainty details simultaneously inspire me and remind me of what little talent I posses holding a paintbrush. Walking through the Guggenheim was no exception. Most of the pieces are done by Hilma af Klint, a 20th-century Swedish artist expressing her beliefs and curiosity about the universe through her abstract painting. I was mostly at the exhibit to appease my mom (a K - 8th-grade art teacher), but as we continued to look at each piece and read their descriptions, I slowly began to appreciate them and their underlying meanings.

I like writing that integrates symbols, double meanings, and metaphors into its message because I think that the best works of art are the ones that have to be sought after. If the writer simply tells you exactly what they were thinking and how their words should be interpreted, there's no room for imagination. An unpopular opinion in high school was that reading "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne was fun. Well, I thought it was. At the beginning of the book, there's a scene where Hawthorne describes a wild rosebush that sits just outside of the community prison. As you read, you are free to decide whether it's an image of morality, the last taste of freedom and natural beauty for criminals walking toward their doom, or a symbol of the relationship between the Puritans with their prison-like expectations and Hester, the main character, who blossoms into herself throughout the novel. Whichever one you think it is doesn't matter, the point is that the rosebush can symbolize whatever you want it to. It's the same with paintings - they can be interpreted however you want them to be.

As we walked through the building, its spiral design leading us further and further upwards, we were able to catch glimpses of af Klint's life through the strokes of her brush. My favorite of her collections was one titled, "Evolution." As a science nerd myself, the idea that the story of our existence was being incorporated into art intrigued me. One piece represented the eras of geological time through her use of spirals and snails colored abstractly. She clued you into the story she was telling by using different colors and tones to represent different periods. It felt like reading "The Scarlet Letter" and my biology textbook at the same time. Maybe that sounds like the worst thing ever, but to me it was heaven. Art isn't just art and science isn't just science. Aspects of different studies coexist and join together to form something amazing that will speak to even the most untalented patron walking through the museum halls.

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