Confessions Of A (Catholic) Teenage Drama Queen
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Confessions Of A (Catholic) Teenage Drama Queen

20 signs you are a Catholic school alum.

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Confessions Of A (Catholic) Teenage Drama Queen
Eldinamo

Going to Catholic school is a unique experience that can differentiate your academic background from those of your peers, creating exceptional and uncommon memories. If you are an alum of a Catholic grade school or high school, here are twenty ridiculously accurate events that likely occurred during your years in faith-based education.

1. The uniforms. It's almost a rite of passage as a Catholic school student to be forced into wearing obscenely ugly uniforms. Admit it, you likely had to take a breather from wearing plaid and knee highs once you graduated.

2. Having mass at least a few times each month. As tedious as they felt, you always rejoiced in mass days knowing your classes would be cut short for the remainder of the day. Also, you best believe you felt like the cool kid on the block if you were chosen to read a passage in mass.

3. Having a stage built into your school's gymnasium. Seriously, what's the deal with this? Literally every Catholic school I've stepped in has one of these. After ten years of private education, I have yet to figure this one out.

4. National Catholic Schools Week. This was YOUR shit. This was the essence of your existence. This week comprised of ice cream and rollerskating and out-of-class activities and dress down days. Which, speaking of.....

5. DRESS DOWN DAYS. These were more important than New York Fashion Week. This is when you STRUTTED those denim jeans and bedazzled cardigans like no one's business, and felt like such hot shit doing it. Forget Madonna, YOU were vogue.

6. Ridiculously small class sizes. Nothing is more intimate than going to school with the same twenty kids for the last ten years. Nothing is private, ironically, in private school. Literally EVERYONE knows everything that's going down.

7. The excitement over new students. FRESH BLOOD. FRESH GOSSIP. Y'all best BELIEVE you got pumped over this.

8. You have been ingrained to say the Our Father every morning right before the Pledge of Allegiance.

9. Your teachers adamantly forced you to write all assignments in cursive handwriting. No exceptions.

10. Walking in a belt line and questioning everyday whether you went to a private Catholic school or boot camp.

11. Comparing foreheads on Ash Wednesday to see who got the best markings on their head. If you were like me, yours never resembled a cross but was always just a giant thumb blob. ALWAYS.

12. When you were just trying to get crunk at your middle school dance and that one teacher kept telling you to "leave room for the Holy Spirit.

13. There is no such thing as good cafeteria food at a Catholic school. Never believe the propaganda.

14. When people actually assume only nuns are allowed to teach at Catholic schools and that they all hit you with rulers.

15. Rolling your skirts ever so slightly to try and make the school uniform semi-bearable.

16. Wishing you looked half as glamorous as Mia Thermopolis did in the Princess Diaries movies.

17. Christmas time every year was CRAY. Everyone went ham with the decorations, parties, and holiday festivities, and it was probably the only time teachers would be semi-lax with their workloads.

18. Yet, you were always wicked jealous of your public school friends who got non-Christian holidays off from school.

19. When sex education class turned into a GIANT celibacy lesson.

20. Despite all the ups and downs, pros and cons, and positive and negative memories of your Catholic school days, you made some of your greatest friends there-those that made all those years of genuflections, uniforms, and Ash Wednesday blobs more than worthwhile.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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