There are a lot of things I care about. Some of them are to-do list level things—writing a letter to my grandma, refilling my prescriptions, or getting my homework done. Some of them, I need a little help with—studying for an exam, baking a cake for a friend’s birthday, or going to Walmart to buy a tank for my fish. But for the most part, the things that I really care about are bigger than that. They’re not things that I can accomplish on my own, or even with one or two people’s help. These are social issues that impact millions, and they’re not something I can change in a day.
Some of these issues, like sexism, racism, and homophobia, I can help combat in my everyday life. It’s not too hard to tell someone that the words they’re using are hurtful, or to help them understand other people. But sometimes it’s hard to find the energy to do even these simple things. It can be scary—as a queer person, I can never know that when I tell someone they’re being prejudiced they’ll react in a way that’s safe for me. I don’t know if they’ll respond with anger or even violence. And the same is true for other queer people, women, and people of color. When your existence is a social issue, fighting the small fights is a lot more intimidating than you might think.
The problem is, I still care. I still like to stand up for myself and others, even when it’s not convenient for me. I feel like I need to, so that I can be an activist in my own community. As a student, however, I don’t always have the time. I’d love to go to every single club meeting that fights inequality, but sometimes I just really need to work on that paper. I’d love to make posters and go to protests, but I have work. And sometimes, I’m just so tired—and I’m sure the same is true for so many other students.
I’ve been lucky enough so far that my workload has been fairly light. Sure, I do a lot of reading, and I do a lot of writing, but nothing so intense that I’ve had to pull any all-nighters. Even so, I find myself tired, lacking energy, and sorely in need of a cup of coffee. After I’ve spent two hours reading about philosophy and Socrates’ view on lying, it’s hard for me to dredge up the energy to combat small social inequalities that I encounter every day. And honestly, I feel bad about it. Sure, I might face homophobia or transphobia—but if I truly need to, I have the option to hide those identities for the day and not deal with them. Other people aren’t so lucky. I have the option to stop being an activist, and something about that just rubs me the wrong way. When I push those interests of mine away, when I stop fighting the small fights so I can focus on other things, I’m compartmentalizing—but not necessarily in a good way.
As a college student, the activism opportunities are just a few feet away. But sometimes those few feet seem more like an unfathomably large chasm. Many times I’m forced to push those opportunities away and focus on other things. Sometimes it feels like a break, and sometimes it feels like I’m letting people down. Regardless, I’m lucky enough to be able to do that. Other people aren’t.
We can’t all be activists all the time. But maybe it’s enough that we’re all activists sometimes. For now, though, compartmentalize away. Just remember that social issues aren’t just issues—they’re real people and real problems, and those can’t be pushed aside.
