Every cat is different, so it requires specific attention to each fur ball to make sense of their behavior. Some people consider themselves not to be cat people — but that could be because they simply don’t know how the animals prefer to be treated. Flexibility is key because just like humans, cats have a broad array of temperaments and reactions.

1. Ear position.

When a cat's ears flatten against their head, this means they are frightened, angry, and/or ready to pounce. Be cautious when your cat behaves this way and give them space. Don’t try to pick them up until they’ve calmed down. Remember, cats are predators and their claws/teeth will do damage. However, they are acting out of fear or playfulness, so do not use physical punishment to curb their aggressiveness. This will only make them more aloof. Consider a straight spray bottle to help control their damage.

When your cat's ears are straight up, this means they are on high alert. Their ears are more effective than ours, so this means they are listening and focusing. They can be easily spooked when focused. Ear twitching is also a sign of agitation or disturbance.

When a cat's ears are relaxed, you can assume they are content, happy, or relaxed.

2. Tail position.

A swishy tail suggests that the cat is ready to hunt. In the wild, this behavior is used to attract the attention of their prey. Avoid picking up or petting a kitty when its tail is swishing aggressively.

When a cat's tail is fluffy, they have been spooked. It’s important to comfort your cat when this happens — let them know they aren’t in any danger.

When a cat's tail is down, between the legs, or stiff, this could mean your cat is feeling sick, unhappy, or afraid. Notice if the behavior persists, and see a veterinarian if you suspect your cat has fallen ill. You can tell if their behavior significantly shifts from one day to another. If they aren’t eating, there may be something wrong as well.

When the tail is high, the cat's spirits are too. Don’t be too grabby with the tail, as it is special to each cat. The higher the tail, the more confident the feline is.

3. Meows/purs.

When cats make noise, they are usually trying to communicate with us. Don’t ever ignore your cat's cry, even if they are known to cry wolf. Typically, cats don’t use their meows to chat with other cats. Listen to when your cat meows: is it high pitched? Is it repetitive? Is it triggered by some action? Log what sets your cat off. Is the meowing accompanied by angry body language? Or is it simply a request for food or attention? Whatever it is, really listen to what the meow sounds like. They are specifically making noise to communicate something to you: it’s up to you to find out what it is.

Purring is indicative of a happy kitty; however, purs can also be triggered by stress. It should be easy to tell which one it is. Purring is not an invitation to pick up the cat, or to smother it. Purring is not consent, so be mindful of where and how you pet your pet.

4. Potty talk.

If a cat is purposefully peeing in the wrong places, they are trying to send a message. For example, If you go on vacation for two weeks and come back, your cat might poop in your bed to show you how much he missed you. If there is more than one kitty in your household, they may be trying to mark their territory — especially if they are the same sex.

It is important to show them it isn’t okay to do this, or you will soon have a renegade kitty who pees on everything. Again, do not hurt or abandon cats when they make a mistake. You wouldn’t throw your kid out if they wet the bed in grade school. Show them better ways to do things; buy repellant sprays, urine pads, and use patience.

5. Body language.

If a cat has splayed its tummy to you, this suggests they trust you. Mind you, this isn’t an invitation to rub their belly because you might end up losing a hand. At home, we call this maneuver “the slug."

If the cat is tense and crouched, an outside stimulus has set them on high alert.

Headbutting is a sign of kinship, as is paw kneading.

6. Eyes.

Cats are very sensitive to stimulus. Much more so than humans. Any bright light or loud noise will be amplified to your kitty, so make the right accommodations when having a party so as not to upset your kitty. There is a threshold of pain that, when crossed, sound can be hurtful and damaging. Notice when your cat is displeased with the volume or solitude of something.

Dilated eyes suggest surprise, love, and general stimulation. Stares suggest confidence: perhaps your cat is challenging you, or trying to understand you. Constricted pupils mean the cat is agitated, angry, or in hunt mode. Half-lidded/slow blinking may mean that your cat trusts you.

Observe personality and behavior and make accommodations for its preferences. The only way they can tell you they aren’t OK with something is with aggression, fear, or isolation — don’t let it come to that. Notice how long they prefer to be touched, and give them space when they request it. They aren’t toys, and by respecting their autonomy, you will gain their trust. Notice if they are stasis — because cats can and do get bored. You are responsible for providing them with activities, time, and space. Remember, they hardly have a choice in where they are kept, but you made the choice to keep and care for them.

If they want to go outside, let them. If they are afraid of the outdoors, slowly integrate them. Don’t keep them shut up in small spaces; that is cruel. Cats deserve fresh air and wide spaces, so just because they are afraid of the world doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love the freedom of making their own choices.