I've Come Out 3 Times Already Over The Last 7 Years, But This Time Is The LAST Time
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

I've Come Out 3 Times Already Over The Last 7 Years, But This Is The LAST Time

"Here we go!" -Lady Gaga

286
I've Come Out 3 Times Already Over The Last 7 Years, But This Is The LAST Time

I was born on April 3, 1999 to a wonderful mother who has always supported me and gotten me through everything. At 13, I came out as bisexual because I was too afraid to come out as gay, she supported me then. At 15, I came out as gay and we had issues, we didn't talk about it for two years. When I turned 17, we got into a massive fight that resulted in me "coming out" again and her finally being okay with me being gay.

Well, here we are now. I've known for almost 20 years that I wasn't bisexual or a lesbian. I've known since I was four years old and shopped in the boys section and cried when I had to wear dresses to church that I wasn't a lesbian. The day after Thanksgiving of this past year I came out to my mom for the last time.

I told my mom that I am transgender. I've been living my life in hiding for as long as I can remember. Hell, ever since I came out to my mom I've been hiding from everyone on my social media. I'm tired of hiding. I can't hide anymore. Why? I'm going to be starting HRT (hormone replacement therapy) soon.

My life has been insane since I came out as trans. I've changed my name socially, changed my pronouns, decided to start HRT, and I've done so many things as a man for the first time instead of a woman. My name is Casper Landyn Barbour. I decided to keep my initials the same and I wanted a name that I could still be called Cas, because my mom gave me my birth name and she calls me Cas and I wanted her to still have that part of me. I now use he/him/his pronouns-and damn that feels so good to hear.

My next step is to start HRT. I've been in vocal training through my university to help deepen my voice for a few months now until I can start HRT. Once I start HRT, I won't be able to hide my transition once I start hormones because I will grow facial hair and my voice will deepen. Other changes will happen too, but they won't be as noticeable.

I'm ready to live this part of my life. It feels so amazing to finally be out and be who I really am. I know that my life from here on out is going to be full of ups and downs but I'm more than ready for it. It's taken me almost 20 years to get to the point of even writing this, and now that I have I feel more alive than ever. I can't wait to show the world the man that I'm going to become.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

54012
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34774
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957157
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

182035
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments