As college students, most of us don't want lavish gifts. We want things we don't really have a lot of power over, is extremely difficult to achieve, don't exist, or we don't have the motivation to do it ourselves. I would like to think that I am on the nice list. Sure I missed my Friday 8:30 a.m. class because I was out Thursday night, but will that really be the deciding factor as to what list I am on? I think not.
Dear Santa,
1) Time
Like, how am I supposed to re-watch Grey's Anatomy with 4 finals, a research paper, and a group presentation coming up soon?
2) Food, endless amounts of food
Food is essential. How else am I supposed to handle stress and sadness?
3) Money
You know, for school supplies, beer, my Netflix subscription, books, and wine.
4) A's in all my classes
Of course I studied, but did I put in the required 35+ hours of studying a week? No I didn't, but I know I deserve the 4.0 GPA. Please and thank you
5) Wifi
First of all tuition isn't cheap, BUT IS GOOD WIFI TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!
6) Parking
Again, tuition isn't cheap. Santa, you would think the university would provide enough parking for the thousands of students that are enrolled...but nope. I have to be a savage in the parking lot, and it isn't a good look for me.
7) Sleep
Oh, probably the most precious of all. Although, even if you did gift me with 5 weeks of sleep, I would probably still wake up exhausted and want even more sleep.
8) Photographic memory
Like the beautiful one Lexy Grey (RIP) had. (I will not cry. I will not cry.) Imagine how much easier college, and life would be with a photographic memory? Geez, I'm crying tears of joy just thinking about it. Gift it to me. Please.
9) Can you somehow get rid of my debt?
I am just trying to better myself, and not be an even bigger hot mess than I am now. So, why won't you be a good guy and take it from me?
10) A Keurig machine that dispenses mimosas and sangria.
I would love for my mornings to have a little bit of a kick sometimes.
11) Last but not least, can you guarantee I will get a job once I graduate?
Post graduation, I will have 3-5 years of extremely hard work under my belt and I STILL have no peace of mind that I will get a job? RIDICULOUS SANTA. But, while you're at it make it a job with at least 3 weeks of vacation time.
