I'm Having A College-stential Crisis
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I'm Having A College-stential Crisis

After four years, will that degree be something I truly want?

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I'm Having A College-stential Crisis
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College is the place where we are going to expand our minds and finally show the world what we have to offer. We shove our noses in our books and memorize, write, and study. We work so hard to one day work hard for you.

But college is a competitive and demanding place.

I'm a senior in my program and every day I feel my intelligence is being tested. Sometimes it's invigorating and I can feel my mind buzzing with all of the new information. Other days, I wonder why I'm here.

I'm smart, right? I have to be otherwise I wouldn't have made it this far. Or, did I just get so damn lucky and am just now opening my eyes?

Did I learn anything in this program? Am I working towards the right degree? God, I hope so.

I know I love to write and tell stories, but does my college education equate to this? Was this the right choice?

I used to smile at those suffering souls who told me they changed their majors and were stuck in the wrong program for so long because I was commending them on their brave choice to change the plan, but at the same time I was thinking, "thank god I know what I want to do."

Now, I'm just like them.

It's taken three years and half a semester to make these feelings bubble up to the surface and now that they're here, I don't know what to do with them. One more semester to go and I will be clutching that degree in my hands. But right now, I feel myself sitting in my courses thinking "what the hell am I doing here? These people know what they're doing. I am clueless."

I chose this major out of the passion I had for doing what I love. How can I summon up that passion again while also fighting that feeling of inferiority as I sit in my courses?

Now I have a newfound respect for those suffering souls I encountered earlier. I had no idea the doubt you were carrying with you and how hard it must have been to choose to change the course of your life.

College is a place to challenge and help you grow. Maybe it's because I am so close to the finish line or maybe I'm just now realizing I might be lost.

I just hope the passion I felt three years ago will find its way back to me before I walk across that stage, clutching that diploma, feeling like none of this was worth it and I don't deserve this.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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