Lectures are an inevitable part of college. They're long and often boring, but they do provide us with a valuable education. With a little help from "The Office's" resident beet farmer, I've created the progression of a college lecture as told by Dwight Schrute.
1. Walking into the classroom.
WIll I ever get out of here? Probably not.
2. ... or TRYING to walk into the classroom.
Who thought 300 person classes were a good idea?
3. Spotting the perfect seat...
You know what I'm talking about. Back corner, next to a socket, with an empty seat next to it for your backpack.
4. ...and then watching that seat get snagged by someone else.
Now I'll have to sit in the second row while the professor makes eye contact. A lot of eye contact.
5. The professor starts lecturing.
Wait, what are you talking about?
6. And then when they look at you while they're lecturing.
"Yes, yes, very interesting! Of course, I'm writing this down!"
7/ But apparently that wasn't enough so they stop to ask for everyone's attention.
The people asleep in the back row may not be listening, but I am. Promise.
8. Inevitably, the one person with bronchitis happens to be in this class, hacking up a lung.
Go to the student health center already!
9. Then, the professor will tell a lame joke related to the material.
Will laughing give me extra credit? Probably not, but it's worth a try.
10. The professor asks a question, and starts looking around for someone to call on.
Sorry, can't answer, writing down everything you say.
11. The professor assigns a complicated assignment, then tries to make it sound simple.
Who knew you could do a 26-part project in just three days?
12. When someone reminds the professor to pick up the assignment from the previous class
Why are you the way that you are?
13. Then, class ends. But the professor is still lecturing?!
You can't keep me here!
14. When the professor FINALLY lets you leave
Sweet, sweet freedom.