The College Experience, As Told By Prehistoric Mammals | The Odyssey Online
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The College Experience, As Told By Prehistoric Mammals

Prehistoric Mammals Know All About Those College Feels.

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The College Experience, As Told By Prehistoric Mammals
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Let's face it: College is a struggle. You're just a small, meek creature in a harsh unforgiving landscape, trying to survive long enough to perpetuate its DNA. Prehistoric mammals know what that's all about.

1. When your professor extends the due date for a project you've already finished.

Ambulocetus natans knows what that's like! It's the worst when you spend millions of years developing legs to support you above water, only to find out that you didn't have to crawl out of the ocean for another billion years. Sigh!

2. When the ice cream machine in the dining hall isn't working.

Jeholodens jenkinsi can relate. With its tiny rodent-like body, it just couldn't compete with larger predators for food sources and knows what it's like when your favorite meals are nowhere to be found!


3. When an event is scheduled at the same time as your nap.

Due to its large size and the relatively nonnutritive diet, Megatherium spent a lot of time sleeping, and eventually natural selection took its cruel but necessary course. Who HASN'T been there?

4. When you blank during a major exam.

Steropodon galmani had a limited brain capacity due to its small size, similar to that of a student with sleep deprivation. It happens to the best of us, right?

5. When you start thinking about what you're going to do after graduation.

Palorchestes azael had NO IDEA what it was doing.

6. When there's free food.

Deinotherium was a creature with large shovel-like tusks designed to grab as much food as possible with the least amount of effort. So relatable!

7. When you need to pull an all-nighter to finish your work on time.

Brasilitherium riograndensis, a small nocturnal rodent, knows exactly what it's like to be up during those looooooooong hours of the early morning, kept awake by nothing but fear and adrenaline. SAME.

8. When you call your parents and pretend to have your life under control.

The call of Coelodonta antiquitatis could be heard for miles around just to let its family know it was fine and not being disemboweled by a predator. Parents can be SO annoying!

9. When everything is due all at once.

Dorudon atrox had enough on its plate without having to simultaneously fine-tuning its species to survive in multiple climates, adjusting the growth of teeth to its carnivorous diet, and just beginning to develop the proper organs for echolocation! What more do you want?!

10. When you have to basically sell your soul to afford your textbooks.

Andrewsarchus didn't owe anyone ANYTHING, and preferred to keep it that way. That's why it became a ruthless predator; all debts were either forgiven or erased.

11. When you realize you'll have to do it all over again next semester.

Smilodon fatalis probably wasn't smiling when it found out that it would have to continue to hunt for its own prey for thousands and thousands of years before becoming domesticated by humans. But it refused to submit to the relentless tides of natural entropy; instead it hunted and killed just for the privilege of doing it again. #Inspiring!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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