Dating In College

Dating In College

The sad truth about the college dating scene.
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Before we get started, let me just say I am very happy with my boyfriend, but damn do we live in a messed up world. People in college are constantly second guessing themselves trying to answer one question... "Are we really dating?" There is so much gray area that shouldn't even be there in the first place when it comes to dating in college. Late-Night Mate, Not Exclusive, "Seeing Someone," Exclusive or FBO (Facebook Official). Why can't we just make this more black and white people? No wonder hardly anyone dates in college. It's confusing as all hell. We barely know what we want to make for dinner much less who we wanna go home with every night.

"Late Night Mate"

This a nice way of saying "fuck buddy." Chances are if the only time you hear from this person is past midnight, you fall under this category. The texts usually go somewhere along the lines of "What are you up to?" or the more blunt version "Come over." I'm gonna let you know right now that this is probably not gonna turn into anything good. If they don't care to introduce you to their friends or hangout with you while the sun is still out, they're not worth it. Unless you have absolutely no interest in being with this person, you should just get out while you're ahead.

"Not Exclusive"

This is essentially a hall pass to do whatever you want with whoever you want to. While this certainly frowned upon, do what makes you comfortable. Although let's be honest,one of you are bound to catch feelings at some point in time. There is nothing wrong with this, seeing as though we are human beings with emotions. However, if someone expresses their feelings to you and you don't feel the same way then GET OFF THE RIDE. Don't string people along and waste their time. You just end up looking like a jerk. Also that being said, don't get angry if someone is honest with you and you don't what they have to say. Not everyone is meant to be together so don't get hung up if things just don't work out. This is casual dating not life or death people.


"Seeing Someone"

AKA "I really like you but I wanna keep my options open in case someone better comes along" or "I just like being single." If you are not ready for a relationship there is nothing wrong with that but don't let someone wonderful go by just because you're afraid to take the next step. The way I see it, if you could see yourself bringing this person home to meet your family, you should probably take the chance of dating them. This isn't a marriage proposal, nor are you selling away your soul, it is a committed relationship simple as that. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you instantly become "boring" or use annoying baby talk (please just don't). Relationships are what you make of them. Never try to be someone you're not because you'll end up feeling resentful.

"Exclusive"

So you both agree that you are seeing each other and no one else. Obviously you must have some feelings for that person and would hate to see them with anyone else. So... why not make it official? I know we college kids (myself included at one point) are always saying how we are afraid of commitment or being tied down, but is that really what you're afraid of? All bullshit aside, if you really care about someone, why wouldn't you want them all to yourself? Makes sense doesn't it? Don't be afraid of commitments, life is full of them. You wouldn't tell your boss that you don't wanna commit to your work would you? Of course not, because let me tell you your boss would give that job to someone that wants to put that effort in. So give people a chance, have an open mind about relationships. If you decide to let this person go and they end up in another relationship, try your hardest not to be bitter. Don't send them the"oh you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" text or something along those lines because it just comes off as rude. You bet your ass someone wants to be with them they're a great person, too bad you missed your opportunity. In other words, no one likes a cry baby. Catch my drift?

"FBO" (Facebook Official)

THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.....You're dating woo! Let's be honest if you really need social media to justify you're relationship you have other issues. However, this is a great way to show everyone that you are officially together and that you're proud to show them off. Give yourselves a pat on the back because let's be honest most people our age don't get to this point.

My final bit of advice: Don't be afraid to open up to someone and allow yourself to care for them. I know it can be scary, but damn is it worth it.

Cover Image Credit: Relationships and College

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.

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To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.

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If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become.

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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