I'm codependent
I've always known this
But it's hard to admit
I miss my friends
So I cling to any relationship that comes close to me
And I feel like I failed when it falls apart
This is all so much more complicated than I'd like to believe
I make it seem so easy
But they never stick around
It's me
It must be me
It wouldn't happen this often
If the problem wasn't me
Am I too forward?
Should I tone it down?
How is that going to make it any easier?
I feel so much pressure to do this all myself
To assert whatever energy I think I have
To make it easy for them
Tell me I'm too much
Tell me to back off
Just don't leave me guessing
I'm going to leave all this behind
And I'm not even dreading it
Not really
Not too much
Because the hope already fell out of my pocket
There's no use looking for it
I'm sure someone picked it up
Some couple on the bench
Who has it all figured out
Who doesn't understand how they got this lucky
What am I going to focus my energy on?
Am I going to be critical
Even though I've silently vowed to let it go?
Is it going to be as easy as they're making it seem?
Or
Is this another show?
Add it to the list
Of performances they think they've nailed
Bowing in their bedrooms
As they take their shoes off
Scroll though the pictures
Where your fake smile stretched so wide
That it hurt your face
Zoom in
And make sure there are no visible imperfections
You can't have anyone thinking that you're human
Keep the makeup on as you sleep
So you always look perfect
No matter how you feel
