'Coco' And The Consequences Of Conditional Love

'Coco' And The Consequences Of Conditional Love

"Our love for each other will live on forever / In every beat of my proud corazón."
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If you haven’t seen Disney/Pixar’s Coco yet, do not read this article.

I mean it.

Some movies are important.

Some movies are an experience.

You deserve to experience this movie without spoilers.

And I’m gonna get deep into spoilers here.

Okay?

Okay.

Most successful stories are about a journey and a retrieval. Something is wrong with the world, and our hero must go find and retrieve the cure. About halfway through the story, the hero finds the cure, the thing that’s missing and needed.

But in some of these stories, the cure isn’t what they thought was missing and needed.

Coco is one of those stories.

Something is undeniably wrong with the Rivera family’s world. Something is missing that must be restored. Miguel thinks, and the audience is led to believe, that the missing thing is music. We are used to stories about young people pursuing their dreams at all cost, so because the Rivera family forbids music, and Miguel loves music, we assume, same as Miguel, that the answer to their problems is for Miguel to follow his dreams and re-introduce music into their life.

But music isn’t what’s missing. Something else much more important is missing: Hector.

Hector’s picture is not on the ofrenda. Nobody tells stories about him. Nobody even knows his name, because Imelda refused to speak about him. After Hector left home, Imelda actively erased him from the family – and music, too, because she saw music as the reason he abandoned his family.

Imelda did many admirable things. She single-handedly raised a child and created a career enterprise that would support her family for generations to come. And her actions regarding Hector’s memory are understandable. She thought that forgetting Hector and everything that reminded them of him – removing every part of him from their family, in response to the hurt he caused her and Coco – would protect her family and keep it together.

But those actions tore a hole in the family that would remain unhealed for four more generations. Imelda introduced conditional love to the Rivera family.

The only cure for Miguel’s curse is his family’s blessing, and Imelda is willing to give it – with conditions: “go home, put my photo on the ofrenda, and never play music again.”

Miguel balks at that last condition. But the problem isn’t that Imelda is forbidding music. It’s that there are conditions at all. She holds her love, and Miguel’s life, over his head, only willing to give it to him if he obeys her. It is treated as an equivalent scenario to when she decided that because Hector left the family, he should be forgotten, treated as dead and doomed to oblivion.

The movie does not demand that Imelda forgive Hector for leaving. She doesn’t have to be okay with what he did to her, or put it behind her. She can be angry. She can be hurt.

But she can’t forget him. She can’t let him fade away. The movie makes it very clear – you do not do that to family.

Even if you don’t agree with your family’s decisions, even if you don’t particularly like your family, you don’t remove your love from them. Conditional love, even if the intentions behind it are good, only causes pain in the long run. Family love at its best is unconditional.

When Miguel learns this lesson, when he realizes that saving his great-great-grandfather Hector is more important than pursuing his music dreams, he helps Imelda and the rest of the Rivera family learn it, too. And ultimately, Hector and Imelda give Miguel their blessing – “no conditions” – and he returns home.

And with him, he brings home the cure.

Miguel doesn’t just bring music home from the Land of the Dead. Music alone wouldn’t have fixed anything. It isn’t music that saves Coco’s memory and brings happiness to the Riveras. It’s Hector’s music. It’s the fact that even though Hector hurt his family, he loved them, and that even though he is dead, his presence in their world is still important and can still bring joy.

Miguel both figuratively and literally brings Hector home. He turns the Rivera family into one that loves unconditionally. And they all live happily ever after.

Cover Image Credit: WallpaperSite

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9 Reasons You're Still In Love With Tim Riggins In 2019

Clear eyes. Full hearts.
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If you're a Friday Night Lights fan, you know very well who Tim Riggins is. And if you've never seen the show, he's basically just the bad boy football star and sensitive hottie of your dreams, all wrapped into one heart-throbbing package. If you haven't already fallen under the Tim Riggins spell, you're about to...


1. He's the star running back of the Dillon Panthers.

Basically every girl who has walked this earth has fantasized about having that cliche football relationship. No shame. #33 on the field, #1 in my heart.

2. He's actually really sensitive.

Tim Riggins may seem hard and dysfunctional on the outside, but he's really just a big softie. He's no JD McCoy, who grew up lavishly and extremely fortunate; Tim had a rough upbringing. He and his brother, Billy, had to work hard all by themselves just to stay above water, which is most likely what keeps him so grounded and humbled.

3. He loves kids.

Tim didn't even think twice about taking his neighbor under his wing when he moved in next door. And for some reason, there's just somethin' about cute boys holding babies that makes us girls swoon.

4. He's genuine and honest.

Sure, maybe he took advantage of his football-star status and slept with most of the rally girls, but once he fell in love with Lyla we saw his compassionate side. (You probably envied Lyla and maybe even hated her for a while because of it...I know I did.)

5. He knows how to have a good time.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

6. He's a family man.

Tim took the blame for his brother's crime and went to prison for it...if that's not loyalty then I don't know what is.

7. He's affectionate.

If you either hate Lyla or you want to be Lyla or a combination of the both, you are not alone.

8. He's protective.

Probably the only time you've ever wanted to be in a tornado was when you watched the episode where he shielded Julie from flying debris.

9. He's beautiful.

You're welcome for blessing you with this GIF.

May you all find your own Tim Riggins. Amen.

Cover Image Credit: whereshewanders.com

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.

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They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch

Bitch

What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong


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