I will be the first one to tell you I am not perfect. I am covered with flaws and my past is full of mistakes. I have hurt people and shamed myself throughout my past twenty years of life.

It has taken me a long time to be able to openly admit those thoughts above. I was the kind of person full of pride, trying my best to have it all together so people would see me as clean, pure, un-blemished, the "perfect" Christian example; because Christian's can never do any wrong, right?

But I am human. I face temptations. And my biggest regret is sex before marriage. There. I said it. This is one of my biggest secrets that I dared not tell anyone for fear of being called a hypocrite, and fake.

At the time I was making those decisions I validated it with the thought of "well everyone else is doing it, so I can't be that bad." and "he really wants to and I do love him so I guess it's okay." But let me tell you this. It is not and never will be okay.

You see, God created sex to be something enjoyable but also intimate. What are some synonyms for intimate? Cherished. Faithful. Devoted. All characteristics that a marriage should have. Because that is what God intended. For us as Christians to find the one we love and cherish them, be faithful to them, and devoted to them as our life long partner.

In 1 Corinthians 7:2 Paul states the fact that we as people cannot always control ourselves in the correct way, therefore we should get married to fulfill our desires without being immoral.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. -Hebrews 13:4

Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. -1 Corinthians 6:13, 18

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. -Galatians 5:19

Now take notice that in the Galatians scripture it says the works of the flesh are evident, meaning God knows we will be tempted. And because He knows that, He created marriage so that we may enjoy such things in a way that is pleasing to Him.

Now I know what you're thinking. Why is someone who has committed sexual immorality, and is impure preaching about sex before marriage. Because I want to spare those who have thought about doing it but not followed through, and comfort those who have done it, letting them know they are not alone in their struggle with guilt.

You see, the closer I got to God, the more and more I regretted my decision of giving away my purity to a guy that is no longer around. I have always longed to have a Godly relationship but the thought of me having to tell a sexually pure man who expects me to be sexually pure along side him, that I did not wait for him, pained me. I hated that the one thing I could have offered him that no one else would have had, I could not give to him. So I lowered my standards and morals, which didn't help because the guys became crappier and the temptation was greater.

One day I was talking to an old youth pastor about relationships, my choice in men, and the kind of relationship I needed. I opened up to him about my fear of disappointing the man of my dreams because I was selfish and chose to make myself dirty. What he said to me next has opened my eyes and lifted a burden.

He said when he met his wife, he was sexually pure, but she was not. But as a Christian, we are called to forgive. Because God gave him the ability to forgive, he saw his future wife as pure and white as snow. He didn't care about the past because that was where she had been, not where she was now, or where she was headed. To him, forgiving her, loving her, and basing their relationship morals around God made her clean in his eyes. He told me that a real man of God had a forgiving, understanding, and nonjudgmental heart, and he would do his best to love like Jesus.

And that's the point I am trying to get across with this article.

To the ones who have thought about it but not yet gone through with it, WAIT. Please wait. It was save you so much heartache. And if the guy or girl is not on the same page with you about waiting, then you do not need them. Because a real spouse of God will want to wait too. They will want to share an intimate special bond with you under God's rules, not their own.

To the ones who have not waited like myself, if you fall at the feet of Jesus, confess your wrongs, and ask for forgiveness, you are clean. You are no longer dragging around the burden of impurity. You are washed white as snow, just like the person who waited. And your future spouse, if they are the right one, will understand your past. They will forgive you for not waiting for them. They will love you like Jesus does. They will think you are clean.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. - 1 Peter 4:8