Clare's Boys - Analyzed
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Clare's Boys - Analyzed

Cheers to the sixteenth season of the Bachelorette!

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Clare's Boys - Analyzed

Raise your wine glasses, ladies and gentlemen, the Bachelorette is back! I'm here to introduce you to all of Clare Crawley's (or Tayshia Adams', maybe) eligible bachelors! Here's hoping both these ladies find love, and we get a little entertainment along the way.

AJ, 28, Software Salesman, Playa Del Rey, CA

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AJ is described as a "self-proclaimed California boy" and is studying to get his MBA. He grew up in a Muslim household, and claims he tells his mom everything. (We love a momma's boy!) I am excited to see what cultural background AJ brings to the cast!

Ben, 29, Army Ranger Veteran, Venice, CA

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Although he currently lives in Venice, Ben is a midwesterner originally. He shares that he once flew across the country to see a girl he had never met in person before, which sounds similar to the situation he probably found himself in with Clare. Ben expresses his favorite indulgence is an ice bath. It certainly takes a unique person to enjoy ice baths, but anyone who's a US veteran I have the utmost respect for, of course.

Bennett, 36, Wealth Management Consultant, New York City, NY

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Bennett describes himself as "the total package", so we may have some sort of superiority complex going on here. He loves morning yoga classes and walking the High Line (same, dude!), and hates humidity (also same!) Bennett claims that women have always been pursuing him, but is ready to chase the woman of his dreams, and maybe, just maybe, it'll be Clare!

Blake Monar, 31, Male Grooming Specialist, Phoenix, AZ

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Blake is another momma's boy, claiming he loves to take his mom shopping. He is currently set on finding his future wife, and dreams of a woman who is "incredibly secure in herself", which reminds me a lot of our leading lady Clare. Best wishes to this dude, who despite being a Male Grooming Specialist, has quite the interesting hairdo.

Blake Moynes, 29, Wildlife Manager, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

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This Blake M loves the Ninja Turtles, and describes himself as a "potty mouth". Coming from a 29-year-old, I (and probably Clare, too), find this to be a bit problematic and unattractive. However, he's "confident" that Clare Crawley is the woman for him, and can't wait for her to meet all his friends back home. Best of luck to you, Blake M #2.

Brandon, 28, Real Estate Agent, Cleveland, OH

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First off, Brandon looks like an absolute male model, but I guess being a real estate agent is working out for him too. Another Midwestern boy, Brandon says he has never had trouble getting a date. I mean, look at him. He also likes dating older women, and considering Clare is 11 years older than him, he may be in luck!

Brendan, 30, Commercial Roofer, Milford, MA

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Brendan, not to be confused with Brandon, lived in Los Angeles for much of his young adult life, but decided to move back to Massachusetts to help with his family's roofing business and be closer to his family. (We adore a family man!) He also coaches his high school's basketball team, and his buddies from home call him "BMoney". Not sure what it is with boys adding "money" to their names and calling it a nickname, but whatever works, BMoney.

Chasen, 31, IT Account Executive, San Diego, CA

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This guy gives me major Chase Stokes vibes, looks-wise. Something that stood out to me from Chasen's profile is that he once swam from San Francisco to Alcatraz wearing only a pink speedo. So apparently, on top of being really fit, he is fearless when it comes to sharks. His dream girl is the "perfect combination of beauty and brains", so he'll probably fall head over heels for Clare.

Chris, 27, Landscape Design Salesman, Salt Lake City, UT

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Chris wants to travel the world, having the goal of traveling to 200 countries over his lifetime. He has 180 to go, which is bad news considering COVID19 definitely put a halt on his travel plans for the near future. In describing himself as a lover, Chris responds, "I like to think I'm good at what I do"...ooo la la! Clare's in for a treat, I'm sure.

Dale, 31, Former Pro Football Wide Receiver, Brandon, SD

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Now, not to give anything away, but rumor has it Dale and Clare began communicating long before filming began. I can't blame the lady; Dale spent four years playing in the NFL, he's an ambassador for The Special Olympics, oh, and he's completely gorgeous. Here's hoping for the best for these two, if the rumors come to fruition.

Demar, 26, Spin Cycling Instructor, Scottsdale, AZ

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I am a fan of anyone who has the coordination and rhythm to be a spin cycling instructor, and Demar claims "he can get on that bike and spin to any beat thrown his way". Apparently he has an infectious energy that "will captivate any room he is in", which will hopefully help him stand out in the mansion. His wine of choice is cabernet sauvignon, a personal favorite of mine.

Eazy, 29, Sports Marketing Agent, Newport Beach, CA

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Eazy is another former NFL player, which is given away by his extensive muscles. (I mean, look at that NECK.) His dream is to own the New York Yankees, and I say dream on and dream big, big fella. He's described as a hopeless romantic, and wants to find a woman to be the other half of a power couple. Clare's a powerful woman, so here's hoping it's a match for these two.

Ed, 36, Health Care Salesman, Miami, FL

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Although he gives me slight David Schwimmer vibes, I think Clare and this man will get along just fine. In his bio, he is depicted as loving all-inclusive resorts, but like, who doesn't? He's looking for a woman who isn't "overly fake" with natural beauty, and his biggest turn on is a woman with beautiful eyes. Hello Ed, meet Clare Crawley.

Garin, 34, Professor of Journalism, North Hollywood, California

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Major props to this dude, who teaches journalism at the University of Southern California. We love a mans who works to shape young minds! Evident by his infectious smile, Garin loves to be the life of the party, making sure the people around him are happy and having a great time. He's also worldly - he studied abroad in Ghana, and describes it as the best trip of his life. Too bad he'll be spending the season stuck in the mansion. Freakin' 'rona.

Ivan, 28, Aeronautical Engineer, Dallas, TX

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This guy builds jets for the U.S. military - how dope! A self-proclaimed momma's boy, Ivan says he talks to his mom every single day, and his favorite foods are always from his mom's Filipino cooking. Although he spent much of his twenties thriving in the single life, he says he's ready to settle down. We'll see how Clare feels about the 10 year age gap, and if she thinks he's really ready to settle down.

Jason, 31, Former Pro Football Lineman, Arlington, VA

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This guy gives me total dad vibes, but I guess that's what Clare is searching for. After suffering too many concussions playing professional football, Jason decided to step away from the NFL, and has now started a career in IT staffing and solutions. He sounds like a catch, but we'll have to keep an eye out for that CTE...

Jay, 30, Fitness Director, Fort Lauderdale, FL

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Jay owns and operates his own personal training center. His biggest pet peeve is when someone can't put down their phone for more than five minutes, so it's a good thing there aren't any phones allowed in the mansion! Jay loves Drake, and hates going out to clubs because he hates paying a cover charge. (Sucks being a guy sometimes!)

Jeremy, 40, Banker, Washington D.C.

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Man, this dude looks good for being 40! He's actually the oldest contestant to ever come on "The Bachelorette", and says he's feeling the pressure to finally settle down. I mean, if you're not feeling the pressure by the time you're 40, you're probably never going to feel it. He says his favorite thing about Clare is that she talks to raccoons, a little "Bachelor in Paradise" reference. This man clearly does his research.

Joe, 36, Anesthesiologist, New York City, NY

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Let me just say, I love the diversity the casting directors are finally putting into this cast. He's spent most of 2020 combatting coronavirus on the front lines (even having COVID himself), but is now "100% ready" to settle down and find someone to build a family with. He was even named to the Top 20 Most Eligible Doctors and Medical Professionals in New York City, and I believe Clare will find that to be pretty attractive. I sure do!

Jordan C., 26, Software Account Executive, New York City, NY

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Love a guy who can rock glasses. Jordan became the man of the house at a young age, after his father suddenly passed away when he was 8 years old. He's looking for a woman with a contagious smile that will join him at the gym and will enjoy watching hours of Jim Carey movies with him. I don't know how Clare feels about Jim Carey, but I think she'll take a liking to Jordan C.

Jordan M., 30, Cyber Security Engineer, Santa Monica, CA

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Jordan M. is 6 foot 8 inches. 6 foot 8! Clare's 5'5", so I'm sure she loves a man who can sweep her off her feet! He idolizes Barack Obama, he loves cleaning on Sundays, and his dream is to own a classic car restoration shop. He admits he can be a little shy at first, which may not fare well on this show, but I'm sincerely wishing this tall cutie the best of luck.

Kenny, 39, Boy Band Manager, Chicago, IL

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Almost immediately X'd out of this dude's bio, for the first thing I read is that he hates cheese. However, I decided to give him a chance, until I read that he manages boy band COVER bands, not real boy bands. Bye Bye Bye, Kenny. (You are a hunk, though.)

Mike, 38, Digital Media Adviser, Calgary, Alberta, Canada

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The total Canadian stereotype, Mike is the "nicest person you'll ever meet". Also in typical Canadian fashion, Mike enjoys downhill skiing and cheering on the Calgary Flames hockey time. A lifelong member of the Shania Twain fan club, this guy's near the top of my list.

Page, 37, Chef, Austin, TX

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Page is a well-known chef in the Austin area, and who doesn't love a guy who can cook? He's not a football fan, bringing him down a few notches in my book, but his favorite food is pizza, which I totally respect. He has a little boy, and is hoping to find a woman who will love being a stepmom to his son. Clare loves kids, so there's definitely a chance!

Riley, 30, Attorney, Long Island City, NY

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Elf ears and biceps and all, Riley is a self-proclaimed workaholic. He works as an attorney practicing medical malpractice, but says he's ready to shift his priorities towards finding a soulmate and having a family of his own. His favorite type of dance is slow-dancing, which I find to be completely romantic and sweet.

Robby, 31, Insurance Broker, Tampa, FL

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A Florida State University alum, Robby played D-1 baseball. (Hubba hubba!) His dream woman is athletic as well, but is able to "throw back a few beers" with him after a day out hiking. He even modeled for GQ magazine once. I'd say this guy's got a real chance with our girl Clare.

Tyler C., 27, Lawyer, Morgantown, WV

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Aaaand another Tyler C. enters the Bachelor world. He grew up in a small town and is true southern gentleman. He describes himself as a "badass lawyer", a businessman by day and cowboy by night. Maybe Clare will be his cowgirl to ride off into the sunset with. He hopes to have three kids one day, two boys and a girl, in that order. Best of luck on the genetics with that one, Tyler C.

Tyler S., 36, Music Manager, Georgetown, TX

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This guy gets major props from me right off the bat, for he is country singer Granger Smith's brother! He has spent the past few years on the road and managing Granger's career, but is ready to focus on himself. A true country boy, Tyler says his Mama's approval means the world to him. Something tells me his Mama would adore Clare.

Yosef, 30, Medical Device Salesman, Daphne, AL

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We got another Dad in the group! Married at 24, Yosef had his daughter, Zara, soon after. His ex-wife re-married in February, and he says it is no his time to find love. He hopes to one day own a home in Egypt for family vacations. Here's hoping Clare wants to be a stepmom to four year old Zara, and also visit Africa someday.

Zac C, Addiction Specialist, Haddonfield, NJ

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Zac C. has put his party days behind him, sober and working in a recovery program helping others to reintegrate back into the world after rehab. Sounds like a heavy, but super fulfilling job if you ask me. He dreams of enjoying a Philly Cheesesteak with his future wife, watching the Eagles take home a Super Bowl. If you know anything about football, you know this likely isn't happening any time soon, so he may just have to settle for the cheesesteak.

Zach J., 37, Cleaning Service Owner, St. George, UT

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I just about swooned over this dude's picture. He's described as a fun, outgoing, and charismatic gentleman with a big personality, which should surely stand out in the mansion. On the flip side, he dislikes clubs and bars, preferring to stay in with a few friends. He thinks Clare is the perfect woman for him, so we'll see if Clare believes he's the perfect man for her. (If not, hit me up, Zach J!)

After my extensive research of reading their bios from ABC's website, I'd say my favorites at this point are Wishing Clare the best of luck on her journey to find love. t's sure to be "the most dramatic season ever"! Check it out, Tuesdays at 8pm EST on ABC.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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