Christmas music is played at one time each year, typically for about 1.5 months. And yet, during that period, such holly jolly songs haunt us heavily. The Christmas music that plagues every store, every variety radio station and every open public space doesn't care whether you believe in the birth of Jesus or not!
You can't run and you can't hide. Whether you absolutely love these jingles or not, here are 7 Christmas lyrics from popular songs that we can all agree are a bit outdated and, most of all, creepy.
1. "Hang your stockings and say your prayers
'cause Santa Clause comes tonight!"
-Here Comes Santa Clause
For extra measure, put out a plate of cookies as a peace offering. If you have a fireplace, light it so he can't come through the chimney.
2. "He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,"
-Santa Clause Is Coming To Town
I hope he isn't watching while I change.
3. "In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he is Parson Brown,
He'll say are you married, we'll say 'no man',
But you can do the job when you're in town!"
-Winter Wonderland
If you don't know what a traveling parson is (which I had to google), it sounds like a weird, sexual innuendo.
4. "When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack,
She had hoof-prints on her forehead,
And incrimination Claus marks on her back,"
-Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
So...did Grandma die?
5. "Say, what's in this drink?"
-Baby It's Cold Outside
Girl...run!
6. "And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime,
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life,"
-Do They Know It's Christmastime? by Band Aid
Well, okay then.
7. "The blind will see, the deaf will hear, and the dead will live again,"
-Mary, Did You Know?
Yay! Wait-what?
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! And lock your doors just in case.
