Dear Vovó and Vovô,

Merry Christmas! And happy New Year!

I could ask you how you are but I'm pretty sure I already know that you're doing great, a lot better than me even.

I miss you a lot, and I usually do around this season, because no matter how many years go by it's still weird to me when a big event comes around—Christmas, New Year's Eve, my birthday, yours—and you don't call me to celebrate and I can't call you.

Grandma, I still remember that one Christmas you came to spend with us where you helped me decorate the backs of all the chairs with little red Christmas bows. Ever since then, I've always loved a good Christmas bow.

Grandpa, I remember all the Christmases you would call and ask about snow and ask about presents. The best present I could have ever gotten was you, though.

To this day, I associate you guys with Christmas, and bear with me as I explain a little as to why. Christmas to me was always magical. Mom told me right off the bat that Santa wasn't real, so not only did I feel like I had an upper hand on all the other kids who actually believed in him, I felt like I shared a secret with the adults most of my friends didn't know: that Christmas was actually about Jesus—hence the Christ in the name.

I never had an 'oh no the world is ending' moment when my parents told me Santa wasn't real—because they didn't—so, therefore, it's still magical.

That's where it connects to you: the Christmas season with all the lights and the soft music and people giving gifts to people they love and smiling and hugging, it fills me with warmth. And when I think of the both of you, you fill me with warmth too. I feel overwhelming nostalgia and a deep sense of happiness I can't explain.

When it gets Christmas season (September for me because I don't celebrate Halloween and gloss over Thanksgiving) it reminds me of you guys always. In that way, it's like you're always with me. My two favorite things combined together: Christmas and my grandparents.

If you were here this year I'd make you a big cup of hot chocolate (or have Mom make it since she makes the best kind—the condensed milk kind) and I'd sit you both down and fill you in on everything that's happened since you've been gone.

I graduated high school! I'm at school in Florida now. I know, I wasn't expecting it either. A little before that we moved into the new house, and Grandpa I wish you could've seen all the furniture in my new room you basically paid for. It's a blue and white theme, a really pretty investment.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life. I know my major and I have a rough idea of the dreams I have, but nothing's certain. I kind of like it that way.

The only thing I definitely want for myself is many more bright Christmases. I know around that time of the year I'll always be able to feel both of you around. I'll let you know how that goes.

See you around sometime.

Love you always,
Milena