Are You a Chocoholic? 11 Definitive Signs You Can't Ignore
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11 Signs You Are A Full-Blown, Raging Chocoholic

Come to the dark side, it's bitter sweet.

little girl enjoys delicious chocolate cake
Andrew Olney, Getty Images

Chocoholic: An elite group of people who need equal parts blood to chocolate pumping through their veins at all times. Hello my name is Emma and I am a chocoholic. Being a chocoholic isn’t just an adjective to describe something about yourself, it is a way of life. To be a chocoholic is to drop everything you’re doing in the name of chocolate, even if that means taking random trips in the middle of the night for a milk shake (chocolate of course). Regardless of what chocolate makes us do one thing is for sure. Life is always sweeter as a chocoholic.


Hungry Feed Me GIF by M&M\u2019S Chocolate

As a chocoholic it is perfectly normal to have intense chocolate cravings. These cravings can hit at any time day or night. Don’t fight them. The best thing to do is to just willingly surrender and give into them.

We all know white chocolate is not really chocolate

white chocolate that says fake over it

People that try to say that white chocolate is the same as milk chocolate or dark chocolate are not real chocoholics. White chocolate is vanilla playing dress up, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Vanilla is the mother of all curse words to chocoholics.

Sun Hang Over GIFGiphy

It is fact that as a chocoholic you cannot love chocolate and vanilla equally. It is one or the other. Being a chocoholic, it is like an unwritten code that if you ever ask for vanilla when chocolate is readily available it is a sign of weakness.

It is necessary to cleanse you're pallet with chocolate after eating something salty.

Hungry Cake

Every night after I have dinner it is almost routine for me to grab some chocolate. Or if I have been eating something salty such as chips, I will probably need some chocolate to balance out the salt. When it comes to the tongue it is similar to the universe. The pallet and taste buds need to be balanced at all times living in harmony.

Chocolate: my ride or die, my go to.

in a colorful comic style a person hugging chocolate bar

Chocolate is my go to. When I am having a bad day chocolate is usually my bright side. Chocolate is what gets me through a tough work out. I tell myself if I can finish a workout without stopping I will reward myself with some chocolate milk or ice cream. Let’s be real chocolate with milk in any form is basically equivalent to a recovery shake. Chocolate is my celebratory snack… it is also my snack when I am bored. Chocolate is my best friend.

Where are all my females at? One word: Period.

in a colorful comic style a woman crying while eating chocolate

I don’t know if this is just me, but in my mind eating an excessive amount of chocolate while on one’s period reduces the cramping. Yes that is a lie I tell myself that makes me feel ok about eating brownies for breakfast. Another good reason to eat chocolate on your period is for the safety of others. While I’m on my period I am a very unpleasant, irritable person. Chocolate keeps me grounded and reminds me not to flip out on people. It’s really a sacrifice I’m making for others by consuming it. You’re welcome.

There is no such thing as too much chocolate.

Chocolate Cake

Plain and simple, as chocoholics we never get bored or tired of chocolate. Waiters look at me funny sometimes when I order chocolate ice cream with chocolate hot fudge, and a chocolate brownie. They try to talk me into getting the vanilla ice-cream (insulting), so it won’t be too much chocolate. Ha, too much chocolate that is a funny phrase and it is irrelevant.

Even though you love chocolate you always have to ask yourself, am I in a fruity or chocolaty mood?

green field filled with chocolate covered strawberries on bushesStableDiffusion

Now don’t get too concerned this could just mean you will have chocolate raspberry rather than death by chocolate ice cream. As stated before I never tire of chocolate but every now and then I will be in a fruity mood and like a bit of tart with my chocolate. There is nothing more disappointing than ordering something fruity when you were really in a chocolate mood and vice versa.

The stash.

chocolate hidden in a drawer

Every chocoholic has a secret stash of chocolate somewhere at all times. Growing up we always had chocolate chips somewhere in the house. It was a no brainer topic up brownies at the grocery store regardless of if we already had some at home. Can’t risk running out. It is also better safe than sorry to always have chocolate syrup or hot chocolate mix on hand just in case you run out of the good stuff. Taking a little mid-day shot of chocolate syrup is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s similar to an espresso shot; I like to think of it as a little energy booster.

You have a little flip out session when there is no chocolate in the house.

Angry Aubrey Plaza Parks and Recreation

I am not proud of this one but any chocolate lover can understand the panic when finding out there is no chocolate in the house. It’s always at the worst time of course. After a long day, when you just need a chocolate pick me up and realize all your chocolate chips are gone. You start blaming yourself, “Why didn’t I write it on the grocery list, I should’ve realized how low my stash was, I NEED IT!

It is often hard to leave the grocery store without picking up a little chocolate each time.

Black Friday Christmas GIF by TargetGiphy

My husband does not understand this one. Whenever we go to the grocery store (usually in the check-out line) I like to pick up a little something. Ya know my reward for doing all that hard shopping. Also my comfort for spending all of that money. He gets mad and says, “Why do you have to get something every time.” I usually have no words for him because he is not one of us. He can’t stand the smell, taste, touch or sight of chocolate. That’s right he’s one of those vanilla lovers.

If you identified with any of these signs you may feel a bit crazy. That is ok because we have chocolate to keep us sane. Chocolate makes us crazy and keeps us from going crazy all at the same time. That is why we love it so much.

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