16 Ways To Practice Self-Care, As Told By Donald Trump
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Health and Wellness

16 Ways To Practice Self-Care, As Told By Donald Trump

Make yourSELF great again!

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16 Ways To Practice Self-Care, As Told By Donald Trump
Wikimedia Commons

We're almost to that point in the semester where papers and finals and group projects are going to start becoming overwhelming. It's important to remember to take care of yourself so your mental health doesn't suffer during this trying time! Maybe you don't have finals to worry about, but you're just stressed about the fact that Donald Trump is still in office. Either way, you deserve to "treat yo self." Here are some simple ways to make yourself feel like a Kween:

1. Kick back and relax.

Yesss girl, you deserve it. Take a load off, sit in your favorite chair and let your hair down.

2. Fake it 'til you make it.

Feeling dead inside? Wondering how you got yourself into this situation? Filled with regret? Put on a smile! You might believe it, eventually.

3. Drink a nightcap.

Water or wine, I don't judge. A fun idea if you want to get really fucked up: click HERE to play the Trump State of the Union Address drinking game.

4. Tell someone how you really feel.

Sometimes you just need to tell the person that you hate that their skin looks like leather, their hair is bad and they should buy a one-way ticket to Mexico.

5. Go for a drive.

Vroom vroom! Windows down, hair back, music up. Drive away from your problems. (They'll still be there when you get back, though.)

6. Log out of everything.

Yes, even Twitter. Sometimes you just need a break from everyone around you -- they might want a break from you, too.

7. Go to the gym.

The tighter your shorts, the better. Get down, get sweaty, and show everyone else how sexy you are, girl.

8. Take a bath.

Ahhh...there's nothing like the feeling of warm bathwater creeping into the spaces between belly rolls.

9. Read a book.

It's important to be educated: it's scary how many people these days lack the basic knowledge of how to be a good person. A book might be able to teach you that stuff, but hopefully you know it already.

10. Get dolled up.

Look good, feel good, am I right, ladies?

11. Sleep.

Everyone likes you better when you're unconscious.

12. Order some comfort food.

Pizza is the ultimate choice here. Some people like to eat it crust-first: they're the ones you need to keep an eye on.

13. Cry.

Same, small infant in blue. Same.

14. Go online shopping.

My life is in shambles and I'm destroying the morale of people worldwide, so let me just log onto Victoria's Secret real quick. A cute new thong may be the solution to all my problems.

15. Have a dance party for one.

YAS KWEEN.

16. Give yourself a pep talk.

I imagine an ideal conversation would go something like this:

"Don't forget how great you are."

"No, you're great. You're the best."

"I am the best! Thank you for noticing."

"Wow, you've got great hands. Not small at all."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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